Tomorrow’s headlines today…

To prove that it’s still today and not tomorrow yet, at time of writing none of us knew that Mohamed would finally crack on Big Brother and windmill in to the housemates in hell, destroying them with a series of rabbit punches and kung-fu kicks. Neither did we know it was going to be raining all day on Tuesday. What we do know about tomorrow, however, is this:

Arshavin heading to Spurs
After weeks of mulling over transfer speculation insisting that their stars are headed for bigger and better things, Spurs fans will finally be handed some much needed cheer with the news that the Russian striker Andrei Arshavin may well be heading to North London in a deal worth £17 million. Their joy will of course be tempered by Robbie Keane’s move to Liverpool, whose £18 million pound sale will fund Juande Ramos’ latest dip into the transfer market.

Nolberto Solano to stay in England
Just as Americans were getting all excited - shooting guns, going “yeeehah!” - about another aging footballer making their way to join their MLS, Nolberto Solano has revealed that he isn’t quite ready to turn his back on English football just yet. A free agent, having been released by West Ham, there are no shortage of suitors for the Peruvian international - he could be heading to the gorgeous kingdom of Sunderland, or Portsmouth.

Cesc Fabregas trying to backtrack
Having allegedly admitted that he would be happy to join Real Madrid next summer, Fabregas is now claiming that he has, like many others in recent weeks, been totally misquoted. Not wanting to join Gareth Barry in the unenviable position of being loathed by his own supporters, the Spaniard is now spouting a series of fan friendly quotes, such as: “I am happy at Arsenal” and “my future is here”. Yeah, right.

North London proves a little bit too edgy for troubled footballers…

People who survive North London are cut from a different cloth to the average gent. That’s probably why Hleb can’t take it, but the likes of Lehmann, Bergkamp and Amy Winehouse can. They’re just a little bit edgier, and don’t seem to mind that one minute the pavements will be littered with drugs paraphernalia, and the next you’ll be diving out of the way of a speeding Range Rover on a gorgeous cobbled street. It is, in short, testing.

Hence, you’d be hard pushed to find an area in the world that football players seem so eager to escape from - and that includes Wigan.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

In this world, some people just don’t understand each other. Go into any shoe shop on a sweltering Saturday, and you’ll see men - grown men - in the midst of a finger pointing whirlwind, starring blankly at their disgruntled wives/girlfriends, totally unaware of what they might have just done wrong. They’re bewildered. Much in the same way that The Spoiler is feeling bewildered right now. Because of the Spanish.

Just five short days ago, we wrote a kind-hearted, innocent piece about how the Spanish football team was still celebrating Euro 2008 almost a week after it had finished. We chuckled to ourselves, hugged, and went home happily singing Spanish folk songs to show our inner appreciation of Spain. And then something disturbing happened. Actual Spanish people read the piece, and it seems our gentle musings have been met with a roaring fury. From nowhere.

“What’s the problem?” raged Nadia7.

As excellent evening programmes like Location, Location, Location prove beyond any reasonable doubt, moving house is an almighty bummer, and if you didn’t have people working for you - preferably a smug man in a suit, and a horsey woman who you probably ‘would’ - it would be even worse. So much red tape. And what the hell is stamp duty anyway?

Which leads usefully to Jermaine Jenas, he who has been so richly gifted with football skills, and yet is currently in the throws of a massive house move

…And loads of other bizarre pointless stuff in new Pepsi advert

Usually, Pepsi adverts are great spectacles - previously, we’ve enjoyed Beckham in a Wild West shootout, and Roberto Carlos and co losing a game to a bunch of overweight Germans. The latest clip from the cola pushers, however, seems like a big ol’ mishmash of crap designed to get as many high profile names into a minute slot: Thierry Henry runs through the jungle in a dinner suit, Beckham as Indiana Jones mysteriously transforms into Cesc Fabregas, and Princess Frank gets all dolled up in a fetching little kimono. It really accentuates his hips, and black is a very flattering colour for the precious midfielder,

Damn it, the French are supposed to be stylish - they even invented the word suave (which has absolutely no English translation). And yet, look at Flamini. Disgusting.

Attending an awards show FOR CHILDREN, the shrugging Arsenal midfielder thought it appropriate to turn up looking like a man who had got dressed by running naked through a jumble sale covered in glue.

Next to him are Fabregas and Rosicky sporting mature adult suits and shoes, looking EXCELLENT, while Mathieu trundled up in trainers and a a genuine tramps belt.

The Big Spoiler Fashion Eye has literally just thrown up.