The latest transfer, gossip and damned lies

Fabricio Coloccini to Espanyol
After tragically losing their captain Dani Jarque, Spanish paper Sport report that Espanyol are lining up the shaggy-haired Newcastle defender as a replacement.
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Argentinean will surely favour a return to sunny Spain over second tier football in the north east. Winter is coming…

David Nugent to Hull
After Madrid’s Alvaro Negredo turned his nose up at the prospect of humiliating half time team talks on the pitch, Hull

Which chosen few will jump ship?

With as many as four clubs still in the race to join West Brom in the Championship next season, Premier League vultures are already circling in preparation to pick off the relegated teams’ best players. The Spoiler has a look at 5 players who are likely to continue plying their trade in the top flight whatever the outcome on Sunday. Jeremie Aliadiere need not apply.

Sunderland: Kenwyne Jones

Kenwyne Jones’ importance to Sunderland has been underlined by his bagging 9 goals in the league this season, despite spending the first few months on the physio’s table. Although Spurs boss Harry Redknapp recently denied he was still interested in the 24-year-old striker after a failed transfer bid in January, speculation over Roman Pavlyuchenko’s imminent exit from White Hart Lane is rife, and a move could still be on the cards.

… check out some of these German beauties

While Chris Waddle used to cultivate a mullet that any NASCAR enthusiast would be proud of, German footballers of the eighties really cornered the market on awesome hairstyles and  handlebar ‘face art’.

Visit our friends at Bild to see even more incredibly stylish barnets.

Michael Bolton, Fabricio Coloccini

For weeks/months/years The Spoiler has been praying night after night for an excuse to shoehorn the great Michael Bolton onto the site. So thank Christ for the big fat men in suits at Newcastle who have done a tremendous bit of business by landing Argentina defender Fabriccio Coloccini, who looks ever so slightly like the iconic singer. In fact, if you study the above picture closely it becomes almost impossible to tell them apart. Their hair is just so damn similar.

Hilarious.

After the jump, Michael Bolton sings Can I Touch You There - an ode to exactly what you think it’s about…