Jermain Defoe boffs yet another glamour girl

Essex girl Chantelle Houghton came to the nation’s attention when she highlighted the farcical nature of Celebrity Big Brother, easily winning the competition despite having no fame whatsoever. She then married fellow contestant Samuel Preston (the hypocritical chap from that band who had a fantastic first album that contained lyrics heavily criticising those who “sell out”) and slowly worked her way towards an inexplicable massive fortune.

These days, Chantelle does her best Jordan impression, hanging around London nightclubs with fellow WAG wannabes Chanelle Hayes and not-a-racist Danielle Lloyd. The latter is currently very angry with her former BBF for going where so many sketchy virtuous girls have gone before - into the arms of prolific nightclub swordsman Jermain Defoe.