Remember when Tottenham won the Carling Cup all the way back in February? You know, it signalled a new dawn for the North Londoners, where their fancy new Spanish manager was supposed to mastermind their assault on the big four? No?
With Spurs sitting pretty at the bottom of the Premier, the only side without a win, notions of Champions League success and general optimism seems like a hazy memory. Meanwhile, former gaffer Martin Jol is having a whale of a time at SV Hamburg - the undefeated side are currently two points clear at the top of the Bundesliga.
The statistics suggest the Lilywhites were more fortunate with the Dutchman at the helm (his 45.2 per cent win rate is a little healthier than Ramos’ 41.3), but are they actually better off? A stronger squad, silverware and a healthy ambition says yes, but three victories since February and one point from the last fifteen says no.
Spurs are a bit like that dream girl you always wanted to have sex with. She looks amazing, ticks all the right boxes, but when your boat finally comes in and you get the chance to actually do it, she’s rubbish. It’s a bloody shame. And yet, every August, when she struts back into your life wearing a fierce new bikini and beckoning you over, you decide that this year she might be less lurching and badly coordinated in bed. But guess what? She never is.
Until, of course, this year. We’re going to put the metaphor down now, because it’s just getting stupid - but yes, the sexy woman is Spurs, and finally they have the look of a team that could do some serious damage - both in bed, and on the pitch.
Last year, everyone was harping on about the four big strikers (Keane, Berbs, Defoe, Bent), but that was always going to present problems. Four decent strikers can’t squeeze into two slots, hence Defoe’s sharp exit, and Bent’s loss of confidence.
But this year, Ramos seems to be buying intelligently, rather than clogging up certain areas to create “competition”. Instead, he has snared fantastic attacking midfield players - Bentley, Modric, Dos Santos - to keep the heat off his injury-prone defence. And even Bent has started slotting them in for fun up front. Of course, every year seems like a false dawn at White Hart Lane, but should they tie down the Arshavin deal, and manage to keep hold of Berbatov, all that big talk of being the biggest team in North London might yet start to ring true.
Or, have we just fallen for another buxom lass from Seven Sisters with phenomenal bosoms?
