AC Milan shirts make you look fat…

Fatties are horrible people, always searching for excuses for their big blubbery bellies - I’m big boned, it’s genetic, I’m actually really quite ill, seriously. But now footballers with squodgy stomachs, like Ronaldinho, really might have a valid excuse for their sickening obesity, because studies have been carried out which prove that vertical stripes make you look fat.

Manchester City’s resident graffiti artist is hungry

We all know that Ronaldo and Ronaldinho have been a little ‘thinly challenged’, and it looks like Robinho should be thinking about punching another few holes in his belt. According to the Daily Mail, his appetite for money is only matched by his appetite for, er, food:

The maitre d’ of the Rio de Janeiro hotel where Robinho has been staying on international duty says the 24-year-old has the biggest appetite in the Brazil squad.

‘He eats all the time,’ said Marcos Farias.

‘He nibbles on all sorts of meat and is more greedy than the rest of the team.’

Farias said the players were on a strict diet, but regardless

New kit designed for the ‘thinly-challenged’

The cunning marketing folk at Manchester City have come up with an ingenious euphemism for ’suitable for fat bastards’, by claiming their shirts are ‘more generous’. It’s a shame Ronaldinho didn’t sign on, he definitely would have appreciated this.

[Pies]

Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline. The Sun claim the Manchester Utd striker’s summer of laying stagnant in a pool, emerging only to drink and eat fast food, has had a serious effect on his physique. He looked a bit portly in a friendly against Aberdeen this weekend, but wasn’t he always a little more rotund than is desirable for a professional footballer?

If you want to see a striker who has really been piling it on, check out this guy:

Ronaldo, whose contract with AC Milan ended two weeks ago, is pictured testing the tensile strength of a yacht in Ibiza. It looks like he and pregnant WAG Bia Anthony are really enjoying the local cuisine…

Chunky Brazilian proves that he is still better than you

He may have trouble actually seeing his feet nowadays, but Ronaldinho can still put them to good use with a football. The chaps at Pies have discovered a video of the charity game we told you about on Monday, and ‘Gordinho’ certainly proves that having the physique of a darts player doesn’t hinder his natural ball skills.

Barca striker proves that black isn’t a slimming colour

Over the weekend, troubled Barcelona star Ronaldinho finally returned from ‘injury’ to appear in a Venezuelan charity match. The Brazilian netted two good goals in front of the 38,000 strong crowd, but 7-7 final scoreline suggests the standard wasn’t particularly high.

From the look of the pictures above, it would appear that Ronny has been indulging in one too many Wayne Rooney-esque meals. The star’s expanding gut was the talking point of the match, and it has earned him the nickname ‘gordinho’ in Spain (which roughly translates to ‘fatty fat fat chubber pieface’).

Despite the fact that he currently struggles