The Spoiler

Tottenham’s bargain basement Van Nistelrooy bid, FC Porto’s hottest fan loses her clothes


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Dirty Tackle live up to their name by finding this flagrant abuse of a referee

Blackburn’s 2009/10 looks a little cheap
[Pies]

Bye bye Roman Pavlyuchenko
[Caught Offside]

Tottenham are offering £1.25m for Ruud van Nistelrooy - surely that’s insultingly low?
[Daily Mail]

Billy Bob Gillett and Hank Hicks have been making some outrageous expense claims
[Guardian]

Cátia Rocha - FC Porto’s hottest and nakedest fan (slightly NSFW)
[On205th]

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Posted: June 9th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Video: Portugal stars’ rubbish attempt at a Cryuff penalty


Under 21 side make a pig’s ear of scoring opportunity

Scientists who obviously had no diseases to cure recently discovered the technique for a perfect penalty: the taker should approach at an angle 20 to 30 degrees, hit the ball at 65mph, and aim exactly half a metre inside the crossbar and either goalpost.

Clearly, this stunning scientific development has yet to reach Portgual, as demonstrated in the national team’s U21 performance against the mighty Cape Verde yesterday.

Sporting’s midfielder Bruno Pereirinha attempted to recreate Johan Cruyff’s legendary passed penalty, by knocking the ball to Porto’s Rui Pedro. The plan was thwarted when a defender intercepted, and the pair were left looking as stupid as Thierry Henry and Robert Pires did in 2005.

Fortunately, the crappy spot kick had no effect on the result, as Portugal were 2-0 victors.

[Off The Post]

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Posted: March 26th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Levante set to ruin Real Madrid’s title celebrations


Rubbish team will strike, but English club could save the day

Levante

Fresh from a bizarre centre circle protest last week, relegated Levante are planning to ruin Real Madrid’s championship celebrations on Sunday. Players of the financially-troubled club, who are owed around 18million Euros in wages, are unapologetic about a plan to strike and spoil Real’s big day. Captain Luis Manuel Rubiales said:

“Madrid has fans all over Spain, including in our team, and we are the last ones to want to cause it [sic] trouble.”

Levante has not been training all week and are adamant they will not play the league game, which means Madrid will be awarded all three points. If they find themselves contractually obliged to show up for a friendly tie, however, the players also have a scheme to enrage the Bernabeu faithful: according to some Spanish reports, they will field seven players (the minimum

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Posted: May 16th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey