Fortunately he didn’t have access to a golf club

In news that will undoubtedly rock the foundations of the football community, Craig Bellamy has been accused of abusing a female fan during last night’s 5-3 friendly win over Ipswich:

Bellamy was substituted with a leg injury halfway through the first half and, as he limped off, the £7million star became embroiled in a war of words.

The fan instantly reported the player’s outburst to a nearby police officer. Suffolk police spokesman Mark Norman said: “Officials of Ipswich and West Ham are both aware that an incident has taken place.” It overshadowed a thrilling night of football at Portman Road.

Allegedly the striker, who has already been in trouble with the fuzz in the closed season for going to town on a charity worker, was goaded by a female fan as he left the field. He said: “F*cking Ipswich prostitutes.” It’s very easy to lambast the tattooed Welshman for his outburst, but that’s quite a witty off-the-cuff retort for a man with whose idea of a good time is racially aggravated assault.