It’s nowhere near the January window, but the rumour vines are ripe for picking…

Roberto Carlos to Real Madrid
After two-and-a-half seasons with Fenerbahçe, the Brazilian has announced he will leave Turkey in December. He has told Spanish paper AS that he would like to return to his homeland to play, but would be willing to join Madrid from January to June without pay.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Marcelo - who played terribly last weekend - should be quaking in his boots.

Emmanuel Eboue to Barcelona
The Sun believe the Catalan giants are lining up a £7m bid for the Arsenal right-back, as they need cover for Dani Alves. They also claim Eboue is in demand as Barca have failed to sign Dmytro Chygrynskiy, which is rather puzzling as the Ukraine international is a centre-back who signed a five-year deal with the club in August and made his debut against Getafe.

Some unusual defending from the Turkcell Süper Lig

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The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Daniel Agger to Barcelona
Before last night’s epic battle at Stamford Bridge, Barcelona confirmed their interest in Liverpool’s Danish tattoo artist. According to The Daily Mail, his ability to bring the ball out of defence and set up attacks has impressed Pep Guardiola.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Agger’s Anfield contract expires next year, and after attracting attention from the Catalan giants and AC Milan, the centre-back has admitted he is in no rush to reach a new agreement.

Mauro Zarate to Liverpool
According to this morning’s Sun, Liverpool are monitoring

Officials do nothing about hi-jinks in Turkish derby

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The best of last night’s Champions League action

Celtic 1/ Manchester Utd 1
Just when it looked like the Scottish outfit were to claim a famous victory, the Premier League’s hairiest Welshman stepped up to keep the Red Devils at the top of Group E.

Arsenal 0/ Fenerbahce 0
Not a great deal to report at the Emirates, but Professor Wenger and his defunct strike force must be very concerned for the imminent visit of the aforementioned Manchester Utd.

Spoiler bonus: See Real Madrid get schooled at home by some Italians after the jump…

Hurrah! Victory all round for English sides in Europe

Fenerbahce/ Arsenal
Many were fretting about Arsenal’s trip to Turkey, but it couldn’t have turned out any better - Cesc Fabregas was on fire and they knocked in some great goals, including Aaron Ramsey’s first in the Champions League. Extended highlights above.

Manchester Utd/ Celtic
Elsewhere, Gordon Strachan and his band of merry dwarves did nothing for the reputation of Scottish football as they were punished at Old Trafford.

Spoiler bonus: highlights of Juventus/ Real Madrid after the jump…

Fenerbahce/ Arsenal, ITV1, 7.45pm, Free £10 bet

[Roberto Carlos - unfazed by Arsenal’s visit]

Despite coming from behind to beat Everton, Arsenal are far from  their best and in recent years trips to Turkey have proven even more daunting than playing in the San Siro or the Nou Camp for the Big Four. Here’s why the betting genii at chickendinner believe Arsenal are in danger of being the latest Premier League side to come home from Turkey empty-handed…

» English clubs have lost their last four Champions League away games against Turkish opposition. Manchester United lost 3-0 in Fenerbahce in 2004-05, Liverpool lost 3-2 to Galatasaray in 2006-07 and 2-1 to Besiktas last season while Chelsea lost 2-1 in Fenerbahce six months ago.

» Despite starting this season slowly, Fenerbahce have only lost once at home, which means that in total they have now lost just three of their last 52 league and European home games.

» Their last European home defeat came in November 2005

UEFA have been playing with the crazy pots again

The good officials of the Champions League gathered around the trough in Monaco this afternoon, pausing briefly to pompously remove some plastic footballs from mixing bowls in one of their favourite little rituals.

As per, various pundits and sundry authorities were on hand to discuss the mouth-watering nature of the dance card, while those associated with the managerial side of things vowed not to underestimate anybody, as decreed by UEFA’s guidelines on how to talk to the press at times such as this.

Of the English teams, Liverpool probably feel the men in blazers could have looked harder to find them a couple of soft sides, but at least