Striker alleged to have physically and verbally abused his captain

Chelsea players and winged creatures know not to mess with Michael Ballack, but Germany’s favourite Polish striker Lukas Podolski clearly has some lessons to learn.

On Wednesday night, the 13 or 14 people who attended the Wales/ Germany game in Cardiff were shocked to see the angry forward slap his captain in the middle of the pitch. After the game, Podolski dismissed the incident:

Sometimes these things happen on the pitch. For me, the matter is closed and have been dealt with. Anyone can see I am a player who sometimes shows emotion, but I don’t clear these things up in public. We are professional enough to discuss these things in private.

We didn’t report this yesterday as Podolski’s comments made it all seem like a non-event, but our German friends at Bild have spiced things up this morning by claiming Podolski ranted at Ballack before the bitchslap.

Apparently, he said “Halt’s Maul! Lauf selber, du Arschloch!”. Thanks to The Spoiler’s tenuous grasp of German idioms, we know this means:

“Shut your trap! Run, you arsehole!”

In response to this accusation, Podolski simply said: “I did not use such words.” Whatevs, Lukas.

Spoiler bonus: Video evidence of the honour-offending slap after the jump…

Argentinean responds emphatically to Pele’s claims he is a ‘negative example’

Maradona keeps his distance while ‘welcoming’ Pele to his talk show in 2005

Like cats and dogs, bloods and crips and Cristiano Ronaldo and modesty, Pele and Maradona are fierce enemies. As leading contenders for the position as the greatest football of all time, the Brazilian and the Argentinean have been trying to soil one another’s reputations for years.

In 2000, Pele denied an accusation by Maradona that he had had his first sexual experience at the age of 14 with a coach. At the time, the Brazilian attributed Maradona’s surprising outburst to a mixture of jealousy and disapproval of his staunch support for anti-drugs campaigns.

While bizarrely accusing Robinho of taking drugs on Monday, Pele did not miss the opportunity to take a potshot at his Argentinean adversary, by claiming he was “a negative example”. When journalists asked Maradona for a response prior to Argentina’s match with Venezuela, he ignored the opportunity to defend himself, opting to re-tell his homosexual slur:

“What do you want me to say? He lost his virginity to a man.”

According to Spanish paper Marca, this statement provoked laughter from the journalists.

Dutchman endorses former foe to annoy former employer

May 2006: Ruud has a training ground spat with C-Ron, which ends in him telling the young Portuguese to “Go crying to your daddy”. Ronaldo’s father had died earlier that season. The feud sparked his transfer to Madrid.

5th June 2008: Van Nistelrooy becomes the latest Real Madrid staffer to try and coax Cristiano to Spain:

“He’d be an important signing for Madrid because this is a club which signs the best players in the world, and that’s what Cristiano is.

“Cristiano could bring a lot of things to this club. He’s young, he has everything and a long sporting career ahead of him.

“For Madrid he would be a great signing.”

Oh Ruudy, the lengths to which you are willing to go to wind up Sir Alex are impressive…

[Quote: Manchester Evening News]