Showboaters gather in Sao Paolo to trash talk, drink each other’s milkshakes, max the envelope etc

Yesterday a young Frenchman named Arnaud Garnier beat 3,500 other freestylers to take home the Red Bull Street Style World Football Final. What, you mean you weren’t invited to participate?

In the video above, Russia and Jamaica duel it out in what showing off experts would consider fairly rudimentary. Lord only knows what kind of skills would impress them…

Arsenal’s season going down the toilet?

Arsenal have already lost more games than they did in the whole of the 2007/08 season… and now comes the news that Theo Walcott dislocated his right shoulder during England’s training session in Berlin last night.

T-Wal was set to start against Germany in tonight’s friendly international, but instead he will miss up to three months of the season. He was tackled by West Ham’s Scott Parker (who just shot up in Spurs fans’ estimation) and fell awkwardly on the wet pitch.

Bummer, particularly for Monsieur Wenger. No one would argue that Walcott is Arsenal’s most valuable player, but his pace and vitality will definitely be missed.

How many points do you think will Arsenal lose as a result of Walcott’s absence? Vote below:

Former Man Utd defender slams club’s dietary regime

Barcelona defender Gerard Pique (pictured here in a dashing outfit), who left Old Trafford earlier this year, has claimed his former team-mates lived on a diet of “beer and burgers”.

“There were some incredible things happening at United. It [the players’ diet] was outrageous. Everyone ate whatever they wanted to eat and when you think about the typical English diet, you can imagine what I am talking about.

“Every two weeks we were checked out on a machine that measured the amount of body fat. You would be amazed at how many top players practically broke the machine because their diet was based on beer and burgers.”

Hmm, wonder who he means? Wazza Rooney, anyone? Still, if drinking beer and making regular trips to Burger King results in a Premier League/Champions League double, who’s complaining? You stick to tapas, son (as Andy Gray might say).

Pink is the new black

This is Nike’s new Mercurial Rosa football boot. Observant readers will notice that the Rosa is pink. Yes… pink! It would takes one confident player to slip on a pair of these.

So, can you guess which Premier League forward has been forced asked by Nike to wear the Rosas, in front of real, live fans?

Answer after the jump:

South Americans pioneer the televised WAG-off

In the UK, prime-time reality TV contests are based around bad karaoke, public humiliation and enormous wealth generation for Simon Cowell . In Brazil, however, things are a helluva lot sexier. Website Globoesporte launched the Musa do Brasileiro competition back in May, which whittled down thousands of ridiculously good looking girls to a final twenty, each of whom now represent a different team in the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A (Brazilian football’s top flight).

Last week, said finalists were put to the test on a TV show set to determine Brazil’s hottest lady who can pretend to like a football club, and a panel of esteemed judges including 1970 World Cup winning captain Carlos Alberto Torres assessed them in three disciplines. First came the grueling bikini contest, then the challenge of wearing a (skimpy) outfit befitting of their club, and  finally they were quizzed about their chosen side. Probably while wearing very little.

The winner will be crowned on December 6th, and to help the decision making process, each Musa has kept a blog containing steamy videos and pictures. Check out some fine samples after the jump…

Spaniard makes sure Melwood is a fun place to be

Thanks to Sporno fan Eliza for the submission. If you’ve seen any great sport/ porn hybrids, send them here and we’ll cross your palm with ten shiny pounds if it is used.

Click here to see the full Sporno gallery

Has everyone got a pen? Take notes, people

After a miserable 5-1 victory over the weekend, it was nice to see England produce something close to decent footie. Rooney - now sprouting terrifying neck hair - had a stonker, the England fans were so passionate about the anthems that they insisted on being a verse out of time, and Heskey got a well-deserved 50th cap. Here’s what else we found out:

1. England will always concede a goal at some point - albeit a fantastic one.

2. Heskey and Rooney work together as a front TWO.

3. We need someone like Hargreaves in the middle hurtling around, yapping away. Too much backing off gave Belarus their goal.

England have nonsensical breakfast, apparently

Former Arsenal midfielder Alex Hleb has compared Fabio Capello’s leadership of the England national team to a communist regime. The Barcelona player will face England next week when he represents Belarus in Minsk. He said:

“Nothing can be achieved with restrictions and bans. The most important thing is the atmosphere in the team.”

“It seems that there is some kind of communism going on. For example, Capello says the players’ breakfast is not from 8 till 9am but strictly at 8.15! It’s all nonsense.”

I don’t recall Hleb ever getting a call up to Fabio Capello’s England squad, which means there is a spy in our ranks. An informant is squealing to the Belarus national team about our every move. Comrade Capello’s communist secret police will soon find the mole.

City offer Fernando Torres £200,000 a week

With Manchester City’s weary troops already complaining that they need reinforcements, the club’s Arab owners are set to oblige with another cheeky offer for Liverpool striker Fernando Torres. The Mirror reports that City would happily make the Spaniard the Premier League’s best paid player on a nice little weekly pay packet of £200,000.

As unlikely as that seems - Torres himself has reportedly made it clear to City that he is happy at Anfield - it could prove to be a very good piece of business if City did pull it off. All the talk this week has been about a Premier League salary cap. So convince the best striker in the league to sign a £200,000 a week deal and turn around a few months later and tell him he is on £50,000 a week. “Sorry, Nando, the salary cap has come into effect. Nothing we can do.”

Talk of an incoming salary cap could actually drive wages up in the short-term. That’s irony, folks.

Micah Richards claims City players are knackered

Manchester City defender Micah Richards has claimed the club’s good early season form has started to wear off because the players are so tired. The England international says he and his team-mates are ready to put their feet up after 13 games this season. He said:

“I think what’s killing us at the moment is the fact that there are a lot of games and people are starting to get tired already. That’s the whole point of having a big squad though. We’re starting to build that and hopefully we’ll be all right.”

We have heard Arsene Wenger’s emotional pleas for a mid-winter skiing holiday break, but an early-autumn break is a new one as far as The Spoiler is concerned!