“This Time, We’ll Get It Right” (BTW, they so didn’t)

Unfortunately for most footballers, they aren’t Chris Waddle - they can’t enjoy a great career on the pitch whilst simultaneously taking a thrilling stab at creating new pop music for the masses. Instead, they must wait for World Cups to come along before they can really express their inner songbird.

From now, right up until the World Cup, The Spoiler will be featuring some of these well-intended pop anthems, starting above with England’s rather dubious effort from 1982, in which they chose to overlook the fashionable New Romantic movement of the time, and go for something that sounded a little bit more like Play School instead. The result: not very nice.

Luckily, after the jump, you can regain the trust of your ears with a Chris Waddle classic.

Arsenal’s feelings trampled by provincial poetry

Aston Villa fans amused themselves at the Emirates on Saturday by performing some songs on the subject of Eduardo’s almost losing his foot the previous week. Our Arsenal witnesses claimed they were unable to decipher the precise lyrical content at the time, but just the mention of Eduardo’s name by Villa’s minstrels was enough to earn the visitors a shower of currency.

Amongst the chants were, to the tune of What’s That Coming Over The Hill?;