The rain stays on the plane, but where do the tears go?

As his absurdly punishment-free existence trundles towards yet another revolting chapter, Ashley Cole can be found sunning himself in Spain with the kind lady he is slowly destroying - all as if he hasn’t a care in the world.

Bad enough that he prodded his nasty hamster-like fingers all over another woman’s contorted body before barfing, but he now appears to have been totally forgiven for the humiliation by his wife, Cheryl.

His name is Rio etc…

We’ve already been treated to the Ferdinand brothers in their going-out holiday clothes - Rio, in particular, was experimenting with see-through materials. But now, here they are teaching the average gent how to enjoy some quality Tel Aviv beach time during the day. See how Rio casually takes his cocktail into the sea with him? That’s the sign of a very confident swimmer. Or someone who’s drunk.