Landon - not to be confused with a cockney saying “London”
Hollyoaks fans are probably still reeling over the news that ELEVEN characters are going to be wiped out by the new hatchet man in charge. And yet none of them appear to be “Tony” - he’s like a cockroach in a nuclear war. Were a bomb to hit Hollyoaks, Tony would still crawl out from under a rock to reveal that he’d been cushioned by a massive ciabatta.
He’s the new Ian Beale.
Anyway, over on the sports desk, the news has been flying in, and here’s what we know today, thanks to the likes of The Sun, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail etc…:
Now that the season is entering its final stages, very soon a giant magnifying glass will turn onto the players who may or may not make the England squad for South Africa.
For some, it’s a race against time - with physical and emotional injuries to repair - whilst others will be battling to hit top form between now and the campaign’s end. It’s all to play for, so now is s good a time as any to start with the predictions.
Whilst showbiz desks are going berserk over pictures of Rachel Stevens’ new-look womanly thighs, which she chose to unveil at last night’s Baftas, sports desks are equally agog today with news of a rather unlikely alliance.
It’s common knowledge that only a big war can unite local rivals - a fact delicately played out with touching sentimentality by Lando Calrissian and Han Solo in the Empire Strikes Back - but no one ever saw this one coming.
Five Gunners stars who should tie their belongings in a red and white polka-dot handkerchief, put it on the end of a stick, and hit the road
[Caught Offside]
West Ham’s female fanbase gets better and better
[The Sun]
Although incredibly irritating, vuvuzelas are clearly a big part of African football culture right now. This is South Africa’s World Cup. Just STFU and get on with it, Japan/Alonso. We’re not in the NFL.
[Guardian]
Hooligans force player to switch clubs
[Dirty Tackle]
Lampsie has two attractive women fighting for his attention
[Daily Star]
Football chiefs could face £900k compensation bill…
Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard has been forced to pull out of England’s Qatar-based friendly with Brazil on Saturday, after picking up a hamstring injury brought on by the ‘cramped’ team plane.
The FA are now reportedly facing a £900,000 compensation claim from the Blues, as they look to reclaim the £151,000 p/w wages they’ll be shelling out while Lampsie is sprawled out over a physio’s bench.
According to The Sun, Lampard tore a thigh muscle during England’s first training session, after attempting to “burst into a sprint” (seriously, those were the words they used.) The finger of blame was immediately pointed at a pokey jet the FA had chartered to fly its team 3,000 miles to Qatar.
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