You can say what you like about Avram Grant’s season, but you just can’t imagine Lamps doing this for him.

Thanks to Spoiler fan Cheryl_Bites for the inaugural Jose Mourinho Sporno.

Click here to see the full Sporno gallery

Plenty of goals and Lampard tears on display at Stamford Bridge

Roman Abramovich was conspicuous by his absence last night, but something tells me he won’t have a problem getting a visa for the Moscow final…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Rafa Benitez gets all mysterious about new signings
[Liverpool Pies]

A mysterious gas and a blackout made the recent Palmeiras/ Sao Paulo game rather suspicious
[South America Offside]

Cristiano Ronaldo’s lady Nereida Gallardo. We featured her over two weeks ago, and today the rest of the world has caught up. (NSFW)
[The Sun]

Awwww, Lamps and JT are in love
[Kickette]

Help Zoo pick a WAG of the season
[Zoo Today]

F1 perv Max Mosley speaks out at last
[Grid Crasher]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Several bikini-clad reasons why Abbey Clancy is our favourite WAG
[On205th]

IndyCar driver Danica Patrick won the Japan 300 (oh, and she’s a hot girl)
[Grid Crasher]

Why Frank Lampard should sit out the Champions League game this week
[Chelsea Pies]

Abel Xavier has the worst haircut ever
[The Offside Rules]

The ten worst Premier League teams of all time
[Mad4Football]

Freddie Ljungberg has always had something of the fashionista about him - as have fellow Premier League players Princess Frank, and of course, the honourable Lord David Beckham - and anyone who remembers him trooping about town in the world’s biggest woolly hat knows that he is disturbingly unselfconscious.

Lenny Pidgeley is a classy guy

Millwall Keeper Lenny Pidgeley is so flush that he hires a team of aides to carry him out of nightclubs, thus reducing wear and tear on his lucrative muscles. Either that, or he was drunk off his arse and objected to being asked to leave Funky Buddha nightclub in the early hours of this morning.

Lenny may have been hanging out with his old Chelsea teammates, who were celebrating their Champions League victory at the venue. My guess is that Princess Frank took exception to his defiance of the leather jacket club, and asked him to leave.

Some people might argue that Elen Rives - the Spanish lady who allows Lampard to touch her - looks like a doctor has used a massive syringe to fill her lips with goo that makes them bigger and more sexual. Those people might be right? They might also be wrong?

Who’s asking?

To pay or not to pay, that is the question

Obviously, Lamps is a Chelsea favourite and an integral part of the current team, however, his latest rumoured contract demands see him asking for £140k+ a week for the next four years. That will mean the largest weekly withdrawal from the Bank of Chelsea will be going to a 34 year old.

So should the Blues acquiesce to Princess Frank’s demands, or should they wave him goodbye as he prances off to Spain? Vote now!

Is Lamps a victim of the moneymen, or making his bed and crying in it?

Despite being one of the best paid players in the world and an a huge asset to his club, Frank Lampard has decided to lay his cards on the table and speak to the press about his contract once more. Negotiating huge deals should be second nature to a club like Chelsea, so why has this scenario become so messy? Is it because Frank wants a get out clause (as some papers are suggesting) and more lightbulbs around his dressing room vanity mirror, or does it all come down to simply wanting a few more notes from Mr Abramovich every week? Who is the villain here?

Get voting!

Chelsea star becomes master of contradiction in puzzling contract outburst

Frank Lampard quotes in this morning’s Sun:

“I said at the beginning of the season that I didn’t want to talk about the contract because I wanted to concentrate on my football.”

A few sentences later:

“If we wait until May and nothing happens then I’ve only got a year left on my contract - which is not a position I want to be in. I’ve made it very clear that I want to be here but I also want to know what is going on.”