Also appearing on a computer near you…

Bye bye Schuster, hello Ramos!
[BBC]

Video: Top Gear’s epic 2009 Ford Fiesta review!
[Grid Crasher]

Midfielder Jan Rosenthal saves a penalty
[The Offside]

Five reasons why Chelsea won’t beat CFR Cluj
[chickendinner]

Bayern Munich dress up for their Christmas party
[Bild]

Spot Freddie Ljungberg in his awesomely eighties school picture
[Kickette]

Is William Gallas going to Inter?
[Caught Offside]

WAG Rosario Cannavo is attractive, topless
[Double Viking]

… and also play for some football team

Swedish underwear peddler Freddie Ljungberg has landed back on his feet after West Ham tore up his contract - he will now be playing with brand spanking new MLS outfit the Seattle Sounders. As the team’s ‘designated player’ (the person they can pay far more than everyone else), Fredrik will earn a tidy $2.5m over a two year contract.

According to today’s Sun, Ljungberg chose to join Kasey Keller at the Washington club because no one else would have him their owners “vowed to make him a film star”. The main shareholder in the club is Joe Roth, a film producer and director, who has been chairman at 20th Century Fox and Disney. Another owner is actor and comedian Drew Carey, whose strange spectacles can be seen on The Drew Carey Show, Whose Line Is It Anyway? and the US version of The Price Is Right.

A ’source’ at The Sun says:

“Freddie’s keen to break into movies. Joe is extremely influential in that scene.”

Will Freddie become the new Vinnie Jones in Hollywood (which is approximately 1,200 miles from Seattle)? Or could it be that the ’source’ at the red top newspaper is simply putting two and two together to come up with five and a few extra column inches? Only time will tell…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Alex Ferguson reveals many Manchester Utd secrets in a rare interview in The Times

Sylvie van der Vaart claims to be ‘the cheapest WAG in the game’
[Bild]

Ingenious British driver infuriates German police
[Grid Crasher]

Professor Wenger is pleased to see Tony Adams in charge at Portsmouth
[Football365]

Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps, Tony Hawk and A-Rod want you to buy a computer game
[Machochip]

The gossip blogs are getting excited about Freddie Ljungberg arriving in Seattle
[Perez Hilton]

It’s not all Movida and Chinawhites, apparently…

While most footballers choose to spend the evening tensing their stomach muscles to impress glamour models, some, in their 30s, prefer to keep slightly more sophisticated company. The Spoiler is, of course, referring to Sol Campbell and Freddie Ljungberg - let’s face it, they’re a cut above.

Sol spent most of yesterday evening swanning around at the Inspiration Awards for Women at Cadogan Hall in fashionable London, stopping occasionally to pay compliments to Dame Helen Mirren (pictured after the jump). He was there with his girlfriend Fiona Barratt - the interior designer of choice for rich people like Richard Branson, who allows Sol to leave the house dressed like this.

Elsewhere in the capital, Ljungberg, still twiddling his thumbs football-wise, was caught leaving London’s number one sushi restaurant, Nobu. Kitted up in a sexy leather jacket, the skillful underpants model was there with a beautiful mystery woman, who looked just wonderful as she strode down the pavement playing Snake on her phone.

She’s done a calendar, he’s come home…

Don’t underestimate the importance of a good calendar, Girls Aloud certainly don’t. Not only will their 2009 version add to the pile of money that “the girls” like to keep hidden in knicker drawers, but it will also cheer up unhappy people every morning when they check which day it is, only to find a beautiful Mrs Ashley Cole looking directly at them (above). That should stave off the dark clouds until around noon.

Elsewhere in the world, we all have permission to go bonkers with glee, because Ljungberg has returned home to London. For a while there it looked like the part-time underpants model was going to settle in New York for good, but now he’s been spotted out clubbing in Blighty, wearing his finest lumberjack shirt and boots. He even had a hilarious cap on (after the jump)! Good to have you back, Freddie.

Will the strolls and lunches never cease?

At a sprightly 31-years-old, it looks like Freddie Ljungberg - until a few days ago presumed missing (by The Spoiler) - might have hung up his boots for good. The big question is whether the goal-scoring underpants model has gone to New York to craft some kind of alternative career in fashion.

He’s been spotted brunching at all the right diners, he’s spent years showcasing stupid hairstyles, and ridiculous trousers. He’s definitely got what it takes. But can he correctly oscillate between heavy drug use and bulimia? Only then could he truly make it in the fashion business.

Talking of which, it’s London Fancy Dress Week at the moment, and below is a picture from it….

Gunners Alumni continue to face misfortune

Whether Arsene Wenger has developed a knack for selling players at exactly the right moment, or there is some genuine witchcraft going on, it seems that Arsenal players who move on to ‘better their careers’ don’t seem to be able to live up to expectations.

When making his home debut for Barcelona at the weekend, delicate little flower Alex Hleb was forced off the pitch with an ankle injury that will keep him out of action for three or four weeks.

Also facing misfortune during Barcelona’s 1-1 draw with racing Santander at the weekend was Thierry Henry, who was left out of the squad following a disappointing display in a 1-0 defeat to La Liga newbies Numancia two weeks ago.

Continuing the trend of stars who have failed to live up to the form and success they experienced in a red and white shirt is Mathieu Flamini, who has thus far failed to set Serie A alight with Milan, who are maintaining a 100 per cent league loss record so far. Also, when the Frenchman’s former colleagues travel to the Ukraine to begin the Champions League campaign proper,

Panic over, we’ve got him…

Anyone who has ever been sacked from their job already knows all about that great feeling of having nothing to do - it’s excellent, until you suddenly realise that, seriously dude, you have nothing to do. Not anything. You needn’t even get dressed. You could die like this. Which leads us conveniently to Sweden’s most famous unemployed footballer, Fredrik Ljungberg.

Ever since he was royally dismissed by West Ham, The Spoiler has been a trifle concerned about the speedy underpants model. Would he ever play again? Without all the vigorous training, might his great bod suffer? Where will he go?

Well, thankfully, one of those questions was answered just this morning, when pictures of the ex-footballer filtered through our postbox, showing him having a fantabulous time in New York with a set of gargantuan women. They’re probably models too, we thought to ourselves, smoking a pipe.

Another pic after the jump…