The big news sloshing around the enormous snazzy Spoiler offices this Friday morning is that back in the days before Carlos Queiroz became the coach at Manchester United, Ferguson and his honchos were interested in getting Martin Jol on board. He ticked all the right boxes, and was this close to getting the job, until Ferguson decided that he was just too bloody fat!

The Scot was adamant that his players wouldn’t be able to take a fat man seriously, and that he would ultimately