Los Blancos and Red Devils see off inferior opponents

Shamrock Rovers 0/ Real Madrid 1
Those who were expecting the world’s most expensive player to set the world alight on his Real Madrid debut were fairly disappointed. Cristiano Ronaldo plodded around for 45minutes before being subbed and admitting that he is “not yet 100 percent fit”. Los Blancos looked as if they would leave Dublin empty handed before Karim Benzema banged in a late one.

Malaysia XI 0/ Manchester Utd 2
The Red Devils were due to play an Indonesian All Star side last night, but in light of the hotel bomb attacks of last week, they ended up facing the exact same Malaysian XI they beat 3-2 at the weekend. Handsome devil Federico Macheda knocked in the first, and Michael Owen was able to take advantage of the laughable Malaysian defending by putting away his second in two games.

[Videos: 101GG]

It’s easier to buy Newcastle than a St James’ Park season ticket

Having transformed from European contenders into laughing stocks, The Spoiler hoped for the sake of long-suffering fans that Newcastle would at least go down with some dignity but Mike Ashley isn’t letting that happen.

According to today’s Guardian, Ashley has gone off the idea of appointing Alan Shearer as manager - fair enough - but instead plans to keep the post vacant until selling the club, a process that could take over a month. The lack of organisation also means that season-ticket renewal forms still haven’t been sent to fans and there are no pre-season friendlies organised.

The Times are reporting that Ashley has told agents and clubs that every player is available to buy. That wouldn’t be a complete disaster, so long as he a) appoints someone to rebuild immediately and b) doesn’t put an asking price and contact info on every player profile on the club’s website.