Ashley Young’s friendly gesture catches Gabby unaware

[Dirty Tackle]

The latest gossip, rumours and damned lies

Ever since the Arabian businessman took over at Manchester City, they have been on a mission to secure the services of every great forward they have ever seen on the television. One of their long term targets is Kaka, who may be tempted to make the switch at the end of the season…

Kaka to Manchester City
According to “sources at Eastlands”, Manchester City are confident of landing Kaka in the summer and are already planning on how to best fit him into the side. City believe Kaka could be convinced to play alongside countryman Robinho - can you guess how they might persuade him?
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Kaka is actually wanted at Milan and you’d imagine the devout Christian would have enough dignity and morals not to simply chase the dollar, Robinho-style.

Nicklas Bendtner to Inter Milan
Jose Mourinho is interested in taking Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner to Italy according to The Times.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Surely ‘the Special One’ has seen Bendtner play before??

Liverpool exodus
Ryan Babel and Daniel Agger

Use your vote wisely…

The scenario: You’re the manager of a Premier League team, and you’re allowed to strengthen your squad by signing just one player in the January transfer window. But you can only choose someone from Aston Villa’s squad - so who do you pick?

Your options: Captain Gareth Barry is obviously in the frame, and it’s hard to overlook the youthful promise of Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor. Or you might want a big bruiser like John Carew. At the back, Brad Friedel is a rock, while Martin Laursen is a class act at the heart of Villa’s back four.

So much choice, but there can be only one. The decision is yours. Vote below:

Spurs man ponders race with fellow England stars

Are you tired of asking who would win in a fight between Rambo and Rocky? Think you’ve sussed out the winner in a duel between a shark and a bear? Well, Spurs winger Aaron Lennon has posed a new hypothetical question for your consideration:

“I’ve never raced Theo, but I think it would be close. It would be good. Gabby (Agbonlahor) and Theo are both really quick, but I don’t know who would win a race between the three of us.”

The Spoiler believes Lennon would easily win this race - Walcott can’t be at full pace with his weak shoulder, and Gabby Agbonlahor could easily be distracted from hitting the finish line with the sexy prospect of a love quadrangle…

[Quote: Tribal Football]

Newcastle star still failing to learn from his mistakes

Less than two weeks ago, dangerous criminal Joey Barton had the audacity to tell the world that he wanted to become a role model for those who have also sunk to his depths. To his credit, he hasn’t beaten any colleagues or defenseless teenagers unconscious since making the statement, but he has riled up Sunderland fans with some unnecessary badge kissing, and embroiled himself in a racism complaint.

Should Aston Villa’s legal advisors find that Barton made racist gestures towards Gabriel Agbonlahor on Monday (A lip reading expert claims he shouted “F*ck your big lips” after slapping him in the face), then the FA and Newcastle must act. It is clear that Barton is unable to learn his mistakes or his punishments, and a man who is so inclined to vile behaviour shouldn’t be rewarded with £63,000 a week and a dream job.

Do you agree, or should we give the misunderstood lad his 456th second chance? Let us know with a comment below.

Gabby’s love interests silence their critics via The Spoiler

On Monday, we made glamour model Tia Hithersay the WAG of the Day, in honour of the fact that she is one of three ladies who have been impregnated by Aston Villa forward Gabriel Agbonlahor. You can read about the swordsman’s antics in detail here, but essentially the Brummie star was sleeping with all three ladies, none of whom knew of the existence of each other.

Despite suffering Gabby’s shameless tactics, Tia and his original lady Sophie Smith have become good friends with one another (they are pictured above enjoying a night out in Derby last weekend and they are off on holiday together soon), and they decided to contact The Spoiler in order to set the record straight. Here’s what they had to say:

“Sophie and Tia both had a relationship with Gabriel Agbonlahor, at the same time but without knowing about one another. This was an unfortunate circumstance for all girls involved, Including Elizabeth Wheeler, but Sophie and Tia have looked past this and have become very good friends. Although they feel hurt by Gabriel’s actions, they did enjoy happy times with him and so will not slag him off like wanted by others. Sophie did not comment on the story in any way and did not comment to a friend that Gabriel was crap in bed, why would she have been with him for five years if he were so bad in bed???

Tia would also like to take this opportunity

The model who completed Gabby’s WAG hat-trick

In the realm of Premier League swordsmen, Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor takes some beating. According to the News of the World, the Brummie forward has managed to cheat on three separate WAGs, impregnating each of them. The most aesthetically pleasing of the scorned trio is Tia Hithersay, an air hostess and glamour model from Derby.

These men would DIE for you

With the transfer window now wide open, money men with be lapdancing pathetically throughout the summer, hoping to attract some big name players. Don’t bother with this little lot, you successful football whores.

GK Brad Friedel (Blackburn Rovers)
He might have been plying his trade in Blighty for over ten years, but Friedel still has that “U.S.A!” grit about him - a stateside quality most profoundly portrayed by Sly Stallone in Escape to Victory in 1981. He’s been at Blackburn since 2000, and against stiff competition from the likes of David James and Petr Cech, he still comes out on top. Just.

DL Phil Neville (Everton)
There’s something about Phil Neville that suggests he spends teatime shovelling food into his mouth at an ungodly speed, before slamming his cutlery down, punching the are and shouting “I win”. It’s a worry.