Gabby’s love interests silence their critics via The Spoiler

On Monday, we made glamour model Tia Hithersay the WAG of the Day, in honour of the fact that she is one of three ladies who have been impregnated by Aston Villa forward Gabriel Agbonlahor. You can read about the swordsman’s antics in detail here, but essentially the Brummie star was sleeping with all three ladies, none of whom knew of the existence of each other.

Despite suffering Gabby’s shameless tactics, Tia and his original lady Sophie Smith have become good friends with one another (they are pictured above enjoying a night out in Derby last weekend and they are off on holiday together soon), and they decided to contact The Spoiler in order to set the record straight. Here’s what they had to say:

“Sophie and Tia both had a relationship with Gabriel Agbonlahor, at the same time but without knowing about one another. This was an unfortunate circumstance for all girls involved, Including Elizabeth Wheeler, but Sophie and Tia have looked past this and have become very good friends. Although they feel hurt by Gabriel’s actions, they did enjoy happy times with him and so will not slag him off like wanted by others. Sophie did not comment on the story in any way and did not comment to a friend that Gabriel was crap in bed, why would she have been with him for five years if he were so bad in bed???

Tia would also like to take this opportunity

The model who completed Gabby’s WAG hat-trick

In the realm of Premier League swordsmen, Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor takes some beating. According to the News of the World, the Brummie forward has managed to cheat on three separate WAGs, impregnating each of them. The most aesthetically pleasing of the scorned trio is Tia Hithersay, an air hostess and glamour model from Derby.

These men would DIE for you

With the transfer window now wide open, money men with be lapdancing pathetically throughout the summer, hoping to attract some big name players. Don’t bother with this little lot, you successful football whores.

GK Brad Friedel (Blackburn Rovers)
He might have been plying his trade in Blighty for over ten years, but Friedel still has that “U.S.A!” grit about him - a stateside quality most profoundly portrayed by Sly Stallone in Escape to Victory in 1981. He’s been at Blackburn since 2000, and against stiff competition from the likes of David James and Petr Cech, he still comes out on top. Just.

DL Phil Neville (Everton)
There’s something about Phil Neville that suggests he spends teatime shovelling food into his mouth at an ungodly speed, before slamming his cutlery down, punching the are and shouting “I win”. It’s a worry.