The Spoiler

Vote: Which Real Madrid reject would you most want to sign?


While Real Madrid have been busy signing Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka and co, the Big Four have so far captured Thomas Vermaelen, Ross Turnbull, Daniel Sturridge, Glen Johnson, Antonio Valencia and, probably, Michael Owen.

With all the big names heading over to Spain, the Premier League’s elite have been forced to adopt a different strategy this summer, as shown by the unusually high number of English players being bought.

The arrival of the galacticos has left plenty of talented players at Real Madrid looking for new clubs, some potentially capable of doing a job for one of the Premier League’s title challengers.

The Spoiler wants you to pick which one of the men reportedly made available by Florentino Perez last month would be your first choice. To avoid sitting on the fence, we’d probably go for Wesley Sneijder:

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Posted: July 3rd, 2009 by Michael Lintorn

Spurs linked with another summer spending spree, Tony Mowbray is refusing to give up


Transfer rumours and quotes that are doing the rounds today

Harry Redknapp with Robbie Keane after resigning him during the winter transfer window
Photo Credit: Ian Nicholson/PA Wire

Spurs start planning for the summer
The Spoiler thinks Tottenham would be wise to make only minimal changes to their squad during pre-season. The chaos of last summer’s revolving door policy led to Spurs making their worst ever start to a season and recent results - they have lost just one league game since the January transfer window closed - suggest that the current squad doesn’t need to be drastically altered. Harry Redknapp may view things differently though and this afternoon alone the club have been linked with Brazilian defender Joao Miranda de Souza, Gabriel Heinze and Djibril Cisse.

Optimist of the day
Tony Mowbray’s glass appears to be not so much half-full as overflowing. The West Brom manager is refusing to throw in the towel

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Posted: April 23rd, 2009 by Michael Lintorn

Eto’o Liverpool move off, Heinze to Tottenham, Trezeguet to Chelsea


The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Samuel Eto’o has a quick nap

We’ve managed to sift through the hi-larious APril Fools’ Day stories (some of which are extremely unsubtle) to bring you the very latest transfer speculation…

Samuel Eto’o not going to Liverpool
There have been plenty of whispers in Liverpool of a big money move for Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o, but according to Spanish paper Sport, the Premier League club cannot afford him. Goal.com concur that his excessive personal demands are the reason for the shortfall: when he was told he could leave the Spanish giants last year, most clubs cowered at his €9m-a-year contract request.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Sport say Eto’o has will expect at least €7.5m a year from the Reds, some €2m more than Torres receives. Inter are also interested in his signature, but Barca president Joan Laporta insists the striker would like to stay.

Gabriel Heinze to Tottenham

The Telegraph report that Harry Redknapp is ready to offer the Real Madrid defender a return

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Posted: April 1st, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Liverpool linked to Madrid star, Iraqi footballer killed, Gallas’ ridiculous sports car


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Barnet show us how to celebrate a goal

William Gallas’ huge chrome penis-shaped car
[The Sun]

Come Twitter with us
[Twitter]

The West Ham/ Sheffield Utd Carlos Tevez affair appears to have been resolved
[Sky Sports]

(Fat) Ronaldo will try to promise to try to think about giving up transsexual prostitutes
[Off The Post]

An Italian side had their kit stolen, so had to improvise
[Dirty Tackle]

An Iraqi footballer has been shot dead as he was about to score an equalising goal
[BBC]

Liverpool linked with Gabriel Heinze
[Caught Offside]

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Posted: March 16th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

The Spoiler’s “Robbed by Rob Styles” XI


Premier League referee prone to the occasional error

Robbed By Rob Styles XI

After Newcastle became the latest team to be denied important points as a result of a mistake by referee Rob Styles, The Spoiler decided to look at who else have fallen victim to his calamitous decision making in recent years.

In goal is Shay Given, who made what deserved to be a match-winning save from Stephen Ireland last night but wasn’t because Manchester City were afforded another opportunity to break down Newcastle’s ten men and scored.

Our left-back is Jlloyd Samuel, whose great tackle on Cristiano Ronaldo last month was punished when Styles pointed to the spot. Accompanying Habib Beye, who is a makeshift centre-back due to Styles’ habit of making costly errors against right-backs, is Stoke’s Ibrahima Sonko, who was adjudged to have fouled Obafemi Martins in Reading’s 3-2 loss at St James’ Park in December 2006, a decision his boss Steve Coppell labelled “a guess-timate”. Steve Finnan completes the defence after Rob Styles famously pointed to the spot last season when Florent Malouda ran into the Irishman with Liverpool beating Chelsea 1-0.

On the wings are

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Posted: October 21st, 2008 by Michael Lintorn

The ‘fallen out with Alex Ferguson’ XI


Eleven men, all hated by one man

Sir Alex Ferguson

United players fall into two distinct camps: the ones Sir Alex will personally visit over Christmas for a cuddle - Giggs, Irwin, Solksjaer, Neville, Scholsie - and those he’ll spy on from a nearby tree, whispering profanities under his breath - Dwight Yorke, Becks, and now Cristiano Ronaldo. Ferguson does not tolerate certain characters, and as things stand, the gelled-up winger looks likely to be playing himself into this team of rebels, all of whom still send angry chills up Ferguson’s aging spine.

GK Jim Leighton
Leighton was riding the crest of a wave in his early Man United days, with even Brian Clough saying “Jim Leighton is a rare bird - a Scottish goalkeeper that can be relied on.” But then Sir Alex axed him from the 1990 FA Cup final replay against Palace, sending the keeper into a downward spiral, involving anger, shame, Les Sealey, and, eventually, Dundee.

DL Gabriel Heinze
The future was so bright for Heinze (pronounced “hent-zay” apparently) - United fans loved him, his hair was only second in footballing terms to Ginola’s. But then it all went hideously wrong. His body revolted, Ferguson embarked on a love affair with Patrice Evra, and Gabriel could no longer be guaranteed the satin starting shirt he so yearned for. He threw an almighty strop, and finally Ferguson bundled him in the direction of Real Madrid - simultaneously ignoring the clamour from Liverpool.

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Posted: August 5th, 2008 by Josh Burt

Transfer Talk: Is Abebayor going Ade-bye-bye?


spoiler-adebayor.jpg

Being people who breakfast doesn’t hinder The Spoiler’s progress, in fact, quite the opposite, much can be learnt from a simple trip to a local breakfasterie. Here’s what the people are saying in between sausage and eggs and slurps of finest splosh:

Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan or Juventus
Despite lurching around the pitch, accidentally knocking in twenty-one goals as he goes, the animated chat is that the lanky one might be more suited to the slower pace of Italian footie. Arsenal are after something a little more whippet-like for the box, apparently.

Tal Ben Haim to Tottenham

Now that he’s wept to the press, HUMILIATING his handsome manager, who would ever want Tal Ben Haim on their books? In a word, Tottenham Hotspur United.

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Posted: April 22nd, 2008 by Josh Burt