Coming to a computer near you

Ballboy nonchalantly plays tricks on Jens Lehmann, who surprisingly is not amused.
( 101gg )

Modern Turkish medicine at last recognises the kiss as a valid form of healing
( Dirty Tackle )

They take their warm-ups seriously in Turkey
( 101gg )

The real reason Boro opted for Strachan
( Off the Post )

And disciplinary hearings, Israeli-style
( 101gg )

Champions League and Championship-related schooling

1. Rafa has failed to think of the children
Whilst continual whinging about lack of funds has earned him an undeserved amount of sympathy, Rafa Benitez’s failure to bring through a single young player of any note during his five years at Anfield is pretty damning. Both United and Arsenal have a number of young players who have been developed through the clubs’ feeder teams (albeit often poaching them from other clubs in their late teens.) Yet Rafa, despite booting out Steve Heighway as Youth Development Manager and replacing him with err…himself, has merely signed dud after dud after dud, whilst ignoring local, young players entirely.
That, and not lack of funds, is why the Liverpool squad is so poor, and their bench so shallow.

2. Platini may have been right
Last night was possibly the best evening of Champions League football in a while, and much of it down to the tinkering Michel Platini made to qualification in the summer. Rubin Kazan, Unirea Urziceni and Dinamo Kiev all received direct passes into the group stage this year whilst Debrecen had a far easier time of qualifying into the Champions League proper, due to Platini’s ruse of pairing seeds.
After a slow start, it’s shaping up to be the best Champions Leaue group stage for a while, and were Inter, Liverpool and Milan to fall at the first hurdle, Platini would be a vindicated man.

3. Winning isn’t always a good idea
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it Gareth.

What did you learn last night? Tell us below

You’re next Rafa

Fresh from the confusion and turmoil of winning a match, Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson obviously felt a little trigger-happy this morning. A statement on the club’s website said the following:

MIDDLESBROUGH FC have tonight announced that manager Gareth Southgate has been relieved of his position with immediate effect. Football consultant Alan Smith will also be leaving the club as part of the change.

Chairman Steve Gibson said: “This has been the most difficult decision I’ve had to make in all the time I’ve been in football. Gareth has given Middlesbrough Football Club magnificent service as a skipper and, in very difficult circumstances, as manager.”

thespoiler would quite like to know what a football consultant does, and how we can become one. But the big question remains, what is Steve Gibson playing at? The most patient of chairmen has finally snapped, yet after a convincing victory.

Boro fans, thoughts below please…

Mido, Afonso Alves, Mohamed Shawky and Tuncay are hiding somewhere in this hectic market scene. If you spot them, please alert Middlesbrough Football Club immediately.

[click to enlarge]

Newcastle/Middlesbrough, Premier League, 8pm, Setanta Sports 1

Unless West Brom do the unthinkable, there will be no Great Escape this season: if either Newcastle or Middlesbrough survive it won’t be because of a remarkable turnaround or inspirational management, it will be thanks to Hull’s recent ineptitude, and a scrappy win or two.

The stats suggest that neither Alan Shearer nor Gareth Southgate will get the three points they desperately need in tonight’s Tyne-Tees derby, with Hull looking like the most likely winners. Our friends at chickendinner provide five reasons why a draw is on the cards:

1. The last four meetings between Newcastle and Middlesbrough at St James’ Park have finished level.

2. In total, seven of the last nine clashes between the two sides have been drawn, including

Our pals at chickendinner hand Liverpool some straws to clutch

Paddy Power think the title race is over and offer just 1/14 on Manchester United winning for the third straight season. To stop them, Liverpool must win all their remaining games and hope that the Red Devils drop six points. It’s all very unlikely but rather than accepting a premature end to an exciting campaign, we decided to look at where the holders are most likely to slip up:

Tottenham (h)
Spurs are unbeaten in six league meetings with the Big Four sides and have lost just one away game against a top-half side. Harry Redknapp’s side have lost one of their last nine and he has won there with West Ham and Portsmouth. Spurs haven’t won an away league match against a Big Four side since August 1993 - when they beat Liverpool 2-1 at Anfield.
Verdict: United could drop two points here but three is unlikely.

Middlesbrough (a)
Boro have a deceptively good home record for a team in the bottom three and

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Southgate backs Alves, Alves talks about moving clubs

When Middlesbrough decided to make Afonso Alves the most expensive signing in their history by splashing out over £12 million on him, they were probably expecting more than four league goals in his first full season.

But rather than blaming the misfiring Brazilian for the fact they are stuck in the relegation zone, Gareth Southgate decided to publicly support the 28-year-old:

“I still believe he can score goals between now and the end of the season.”

Alves’ response was not to knuckle down and strive to repay his manager’s faith. Instead, he decided that it was the perfect time to talk up his interest in jumping ship this summer:

“Benfica is a great club. It’s a kind of club that any player would want to play for.”