The latest transfer news fresh from the rumour vine

Arsene Wenger recently rocked the footballing world by sending a fax to Milan, warning them to stop sniffing around Emmanuel Adebayor. The threat in itself wasn’t the shock, but rather his method of communication - Internazionale’s fax machine had probably been lying dormant since 1989 when the Frenchman’s choice words came through. If he runs out of fax paper, which surely can’t be bought in the 21st century, he’ll probably end up sending a telegram or a small messenger boy in a toga to Barcelona…

Emmanuel Adebayor to Barcelona
Arsene Wenger had just finished mopping his brow at the news Milan would accept Arsenal’s decision not to sell Adebayor when Barcelona rode in to declare the striker their number one target.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A possibility considering Eto’o is leaving

Dani Guiza to Arsenal
But don’t fear Arsenal fans, what better way to recover from the loss of the Premier League’s joint-second goalscorer than by replacing him with La Liga’s number one?

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Maybe, Champions League clubs are bound to chase

Claude Makelele, Lillian Thuram, Robert Pires and Ludovic Giuly to Paris Saint Germain
Some bright spark at PSG has decided it would be a stroke of genius to bring together a group of French veterans who would surely take the league by storm and guarantee instant success.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: It seems not everyone in France watched Euro 2008

Peter Crouch to Portsmouth
Harry Redknapp has told

All the big news written down in a list

Something about Paul McCartney taking his Beatle’s stage show to Anfield suggests that people all over Europe might be standing back and hailing Liverpool as the European Capital of Culture around thirty or forty years too late. That said, anyone who doesn’t erupt into tears at the thought of drunk Liverpudlians weeping Yesterday in their thousands should be seriously investigated. In other moving news…

Mark Hughes to Manchester City
Suddenly everyone wants Mark Hughes to take care of their boys - first Abramovich, now these guys. His white hair demands respect, but could a man destined to manage United really do a job at City?

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Surely not.

Michael Essien to Inter Milan
Of course, everyone has been bigging up the chances of Lampsie, Drog-drog and Carvalho heading East to spend quality time with his special highness, but now it seems young Essien has bounced to the front of the queue brandishing a big red apple.