Like heavy rocks in a bin-liner full of kittens, the dead weight of West Ham midfielder Nigel Quashie’s astounding mediocrity has dragged four of his five previous clubs into the relegation mire in the past 14 years.
With the Hammers currently languishing 19th in the Premier League, boss Gianfranco Zola seems to have finally caught wind of Quashie’s club-damning reputation and is now on a mission to keep the midfielder away from Upton Park at all costs.
According to reports in the News of the World, having already been packed off to Poland, Nigel has now been told to stay away from training completely, being offered the tasty incentive of seeing out his £20,000 p/w contract by sitting at home watching The Wright Stuff:
“The midfielder approached the Hammers last week about a pay-off, after manager Gianfranco Zola ignored his claims for a recall.
Instead Quashie, forced to travel to Poland last week with the reserves, was told he no longer has to report for training.
Alessandro Diamanti to West Ham The Mirror believe Gianfranco Zola has flown to Italy to thrash out a deal for the Livorno striker. West Ham scouts - who are absolutely everywhere in the world at all times if the papers are to be believed - have been tracking Diamanti for a long time, and he is described as a ‘cross between Paolo Di Canio and Zola himself’.
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Hammers are desperate for cover in their relatively small squad, but we don’t quite understand how Zola has flown to Italy when his side have a Carling Cup punch up with Millwall tonight.
Arjen Robben to Manchester Utd
The Dutchman, who nearly signed for Utd in 2004, is a €28m target for Sir Alex, according to Marca.
The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies
Fernando Amorebieta to Liverpool
Rafa’s men are very popular in the Basque region, but this might change if Bilbao’s prized defender heads to England. Marca believe he would cost €12m (£10m).
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: That’s a lot of money for a 24-year-old who has yet to represent his country at the top level. Perhaps Hull’s Michael Turner would be a better option.
Sol Campbell to Newcastle
At the end of his Portsmouth contract, Big Sol said he would like to go somewhere with some stability, so naturally, he has been linked with one of the few clubs that are less stable than his current one.
The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…
Karim Benzema to Manchester United
Lyon chairman Jean-Michel Aulas has conceded that while they don’t plan to sell Benzema this summer, they may receive an offer that is too good to turn down. Aulas explained his predicament with this rather wonderful analogy: “There is a tsunami called Real Madrid which provokes reactions at Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United.”
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Sir Alex Ferguson has spoken of his admiration for the French striker before - comparing him to Zinedine Zidane - but he may delay a move until Carlos Tevez makes a decision on his future.
Jose Bosingwa to Bayern Munich
It looks like Chelsea are getting rid of one right-back who is good going forward but occasionally vulnerable defensively for another. Portsmouth have
The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…
Maicon to Chelsea
The tabloids have grown tired of linking every current AC Milan player - minus David Beckham - with a move to Chelsea should Carlo Ancelotti takes over. Instead, they have started identifying players at other Italian clubs, with 27-year-old Inter Milan’s right-back Maicon reportedly a £22 million target.
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Maicon is one of the best right-backs in the world but with the Blues’ ageing squad in need of an overhaul, they can’t really afford to spend that much on a position where they have three options under the age of 26 (Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Mancienne).
Brede Hangeland to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has identified Hangeland as the standout performer in the Fulham defence that have conceded less goals than Arsenal this season and is
The games that have made this season worth watching
Now that Manchester Utd have pretty much put the final nail in the coffin of the 2008/09 Premier League title race, it’s high time that we start peddling out some end of season lists. Accordingly, here is a top ten of the campaign’s most entertaining matches, which somehow includes a game involving West Brom…
#10: West Brom 3 - 2 West Ham, 13th September
Gianfranco Zola must have been wondering what he’d signed himself up for, watching his first West Ham game from the stands before taking over as manager. A game with a neutral-baiting mix of awful defending and open attacking play, both teams managed to lose their lead twice before an 83rd minute West Brom counter attack saw Chris Brunt sprint free of the Hammers’ defence and clinically place one inside the far post.
#9: Fulham 0 - 0 Sunderland, 18th October
Sunderland’s early visit to Craven Cottage should go down as the best goalless game of the season. Fulham’s goalmouth literally took a battering. Kieron Richardson, taking time off from his usual job of lying on a physio’s table somewhere, had his 25-yard free-kick bounce between the posts twice (before having another free-kick goal disallowed) and Djibril Cisse’s rasping long ranger was saved by the crossbar. However, the Cottagers created their own opportunities in the back-and-forth battle, with Zoltan Gera having a shot cleared off the line from Pascal Chimbonda before spurning his team’s best chance with a Carragher-esque air kick.
Carlo Ancelotti is now odds-on to take charge in the summer
Following David Beckham’s revelation that Carlo Ancelotti is learning English, the AC Milan boss has been cut to just 4/6 with Sky Bet to be appointed Chelsea’s next permanent manager.
However, while acknowledging that winning the Champions League twice is an impressive achievement, The Spoiler doesn’t believe that the Italian has had enough success domestically to justify being Chelsea’s first choice.
But what do you think? Let us know who the Blues should go for with a vote and comment below:
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