As recently as Wednesday, newspapers (and websites) were reporting that following Chelsea’s inquest into how they ended up with losers’ medals on Sunday, Roman Abramovich concluded that they needed to buy themselves some Kaka.

Unfortunately for them, the only Kaka worth buying has just committed himself to Milan for another five years. Young “Richy”, already the world’s most generously salaried player, has no doubt pushed his earnings even closer to where his best friend Jesus lives by signing a new contract this week.

If Chelsea think they might get a shot at him at some point after June 30, 2013, then they should think again, because Milan don’t have any plans to set him free even then.