Mourinho, Scolari

No doubt about it, all of a sudden Chelsea are a joy to behold. Last season, we watched through bleeding eyes as they so nearly ground their way to boring successes, but this season, they look like worthy and spectacular contenders.

Begging the question, is Scolari a better coach than Mourinho was? Glen Johnson thinks so, but what do you think?

Another Blues legend is off to Upton Park

Chelsea’s assistant first-team coach Steve Clarke resigned last night in order to join Gianfranco Zola at West Ham, according to The Times.

The article claims that the Scot, who is very popular with English players John Terry, Frank Lampard and Joe Cole, is fed up after seeing his role diminish since the departure of Jose Mourinho.

West Ham’s technical director Gianluca Nani said: “We hope the situation will be resolved in the next 24 hours.”

In recent years Chelsea fans have mockingly labelled West Ham as their “feeder club” after Lampard, Cole and Glen Johnson moved west - have the roles now reversed?

UPDATE: Chelsea are reportedly demanding £1.2 million in compensation for Clarke, which seems like a huge amount of money to pay for an assistant manager. What do Chelsea need that money for anyway?

Hide your faces in shame…

Ug, is there anything worse than having all of your dreams shattered? The short answer is, of course, no, no there isn’t. Yet every year we get all excited and start hailing new saviours for the England football team, here to finally banish a million years of pain. Players like Barnes, Collymore, Gareth Barry, Walcott.

These men came to us like mighty footballing Christs, then gave us nothing but salty tears.

Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Here’s the worst of the bunch…

GK Chris Kirkland
When Kirkland joined Liverpool in 2001, people went mental, insisting that he was the future England keeper, and would be for hundreds of years to come. Then he kept getting injured, and now Capello has more faith in David James, an 86-year-old gentleman who Liverpool fans once derided for being totally rubbish.

DL Wayne Bridge
What a breath of fresh air Bridge was when he was careering up and down the flanks at Southampton. Some even suggested that he might be better than that hateful little toad, Ashley Cole. Unfortunately, even Wayne Bridge wasn’t buying that one, and he now spends his days earning money for doing nothing, which makes him a total loser/genius.

England/ Czech Republic, Wednesday, 8pm, Free £30 bet here

England friendlies are nearly always dreadful, but that doesn’t stop the preemptive wave of excitement - even when they are inconveniently scheduled during the opening week of the season.

Capello’s squad selection for his final friendly before World Cup Qualifying was hardly inspiring: the Italian leant towards the same players again, with Ashley Young inexplicably absent and hints about Darren Bent’s inclusion coming to nothing. But of the players named in the squad, who deserves to start?

Here’s what we think:

Joe Hart
We know what David James can do so there’s no need for him to play and of Joe Hart and Paul Robinson, the former is more worthy of being given the chance. The Manchester City player made a quiet debut in the second half against Trinidad and Tobago in June, but a better judgement could be made if he plays a full match against stronger opposition.

Matthew Upson
The Spoiler would prefer to see Upson or Woodgate start in central defence alongside the new England captain to test some new partnerships but Capello is almost certain to go with Ferdinand and Terry together. So as we’ve all seen plenty of Cashley, why not try Upson on the left over Chelsea reserve Wayne Bridge to give England another option?

Rio Ferdinand
Hopefully the Man United defender will be leading

None of these men are the new Pele…

Everyone makes mistakes. After all, wasn’t it someone at Channel 4 who once thought it a delightful idea to lock a beautiful Indian woman in a room with a mob of angry racists? That didn’t quite work out as hoped. Other bad ideas have included - the quarter pounder WITHOUT cheese, fingerless gloves, blind chainsaw practice, and Davina McCall. All of those, however, pale in comparison to this little lot. Terrible decisions the lot of them.

GK Richard Wright
Looked so good when he was hurling himself around at the back for Ipwswich, but then he went to Arsenal and Everton, and proved beyond any reasonable doubt that he wasn’t a very good goalkeeper. Now, he’s not really wanted at West Ham, but everyone’s too scared to tell him. That’s what happens when you’re tall, people just whisper behind your back.

DL Wayne Bridge
That he’s been at Chelsea since 2003, happy to play second fiddle to the world’s second most irksome figure (behind Mugabe), Ashley Cole, tells you everything you need to know about Wayne Bridge. He doesn’t really want to play football.

DC Jonathan Woodgate
Real Madrid thought him worthy of £13.4 million, then he scored an own goal and got a red card on his debut. If anything, it’s been downhill from there. Made of balsa wood.