The hitmen who didn’t quite cut it at international level

In light of in-form Sunderland striker Darren Bent’s omission from Don Fabio’s latest England squad, Spoiler correspondent Alex Perry has compiled a list of English strikers who failed to sparkle on the international stage. Who knows, Darren, if you keep “banging them in” you may get a chance to avoid joining this list…

Chris Sutton
410 club appearances / 88 goals
1 England appearance / 0 goals

Alan Shearer’s other half in Blackburn Rovers’ deadly strike force, Sutton was the joint top-scorer with Dion Dublin and 18-year-old Michael Owen in the 1997/98 season, and thus a shoo-in for the upcoming World Cup squad, surely? Well, no, because Sutton had decided a few months before that playing for an experimental England ‘B’ team wasn’t for him and Glenn Hoddle decided Sutton’s single goalless cap in an England shirt was enough.

Robbie Fowler
409 club appearances / 172 goals (and counting)
26 England appearances / 8 goals

You couldn’t pick up a newspaper in the nineties without reading about “England’s most natural finisher”, scoring 30-plus goals three seasons on the bounce. Fowler went to Euro ‘96 in the form of his life, but he was never going to unsettle the Shearer/Sheringham partnership that did so well in that tournament.

Persistent injuries, the “Spice Boy” lifestyle and controversial goal celebrations meant Fowler was restricted to just 26 England appearances and just one competitive goal - against Albania in a World Cup qualifier.

Matthew Le Tissier
443 club appearances / 162 goals
8 England appearances / 0 goals

A goal in every two-and-a-half games is an unbelievable return

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Today’s links come sprinkled with a generous helping of classic Weezer. The first person to identify the football kit in the video wins the prestigious ‘Incredibly Easy Competition’ competition 

FIFA demand a gender test for Fernando Torres
[NewsArse]

Luis Figo really ought to leave the chest wax alone for a little while
[Kickette]

Professor Wenger is ready for Old Trafford
[Sky Sports]

Glenn Hoddle says David Beckham would ‘thrive at Chelsea’
[The Telegraph]

Robert Huth is on his way to Stoke
[Goal.com]

Will new manager bring the second wave of the Blue Revolution?

The same crystal ball that allowed The Spoiler’s to accurately forecast the Champions League starting line-ups has come in handy again. Last Friday, we told you Leonardo would replace Carlo Ancelotti as AC Milan manager today, and of course, this prophecy has come to pass.

Enough cockiness about the well-informed predictions of a handsome blogger though, as we need to find out if the FNG* is the right man for the Blues job.

With Serie A, Coppa Italia and two Champions league titles under his belt, few can doubt Ancelotti’s pedigree as a world class manager. However, as Glenn Hoddle astutely points out in this morning’s Sun, hie experience lies only in Italy, and English football is a completely different kettle of people who are being punished for their sins in a former life fish.

Additionally, there is no telling how much of a rapport he will share with the squad: they warmed to Guus Hiddink very quickly, but with English speaking skills that are currently not much better than those of Luiz Felipe Scolari or John Terry, he may struggle to ingratiate himself with the players.

So, will Carlo become a huge success in the Premiership, or will poor results drive him back to a league where he can smoke himself to death on the sidelines once again? Let us know your thoughts below…

*FNG = F**kin’ New Guy. Get with the times, granddad.

England legend looks back on career highs and high jinx

In his latest interview with talkSPORT, we’re delighted to see Paul Gascoigne back to his usual chirpy self. At times we needed our Geordie translator to interpret, but his stories of Stan Collymore nudity and playful fire exstinguisher fights with Liam Gallagher are well worth hearing.

The video above is part two of the interview, check out part one (released last week) after the jump…

Mr B’s success is all down to Sicknote, apparently

Alleged footballer Darren Anderton is interviewed in this morning’s Sun, where he claims his single biggest regret is saying no to an offer from Manchester Utd in 1995. The midfielder, who is still playing at Bournemouth, decided to warm the injury table at Tottenham after Alan Sugar persuaded him to stay, and takes one consolation from passing up the opportunity to play in a league winning side:

“Had I left, I would have had a Premier League medal to my name.”But my decision to stay at Spurs opened the door for Becks and the rest, as they say, is history.

“It’s where it all started for Becks - and I hope he remembers that!

“I like to think I was responsible for giving his career a helping hand.“

Really, Darren? Would Beckham’s career really have taken a different course if you suffered your injuries at Manchester Utd instead? Didn’t you play together in Glenn Hoddle’s England side anyway?

Will he be as successful as Jol or as useless as Santini?

As well as having Chris Hughton and David Pleat (three times!) in as caretaker manager, Spurs have had seven full-time managers prior to Harry Redknapp in the twelve years that Arsene Wenger has been in charge of Arsenal.

Here are how those managers rank in order of points accumulated per league game as well as their league win percentage at the club:

The big question is: how does Redknapp compare with those former Spurs bosses? Give us your prediction with a comment below on where ‘Arry will rank (1-8) on points per game at the end of his White Hart Lane tenure. The answer will probably be revealed on October 25 2009!

These men have ample reason to grumble… 

Well, nice one England, you’ve done it again. You’ve wasted another yet another glorious player, and Steven Gerrard is now doomed to spend his autumn years mumbling in pubs about what might have been, alongside Le Tissier, McManaman, Fowler, and nobody’s favourite evangelist, Glenn Hoddle.

Above is The Spoiler’s dream XI of players either mismanaged or completely overlooked by England managers past and present. In goal, Scott Carson is unlikely to recover from the most bizarre and dreadful competitive international debut against Croatia (McClaren’s final insult), Arsenal’s Lee Dixon and Nigel Winterburn were criminally blanked by the likes of Bobby Robson and Terry Venables.

Newcastle’s popular executive director shows his sensitive side

The latest extract in our ongoing serialisation of Dennis Wise’s popular 1999 autobiography, The Autobiography sees the former Chelsea midfielder reflecting on the time he visited Eileen Drewery.

The meeting occurred when then Chelsea manager Glenn Hoddle pointed Wise in the direction of his faith-healing friend after he had suffered a thigh injury that ruled him out for six weeks at a point where he needed football to take his mind of an upcoming court case.

Arguably, Wise’s decision to go against the grain and defend the controversial Drewery should be commended but The Spoiler can’t help feeling that his mother wouldn’t have been too flattered by the comparison: