We loved how the short chapters and pointless cliff hangers of Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code made us feel super intelligent, but The Spoiler has not yet had the pleasure of taking in Dan Brown’s latest epic The Lost Symbol (£18.99 for an airport blockbuster? We don’t care how hard the hard back is, that’s a rip-off!).
Our friends at The Mirror football desk, however, have furiously pawed through it, and found an interesting football-related passage in the process. When symbologist protagonist Robert Langdon discovers a severed hand with the index finger pointing upwards, he remarks:
“This pointing-hand gesture - with its index finger and thumb extended upward - is a well-known symbol of the Ancient Mysteries, and it appears all over the world in ancient art. This same gesture appears in three of Leonardo da Vinci’s most famous encoded masterpieces - The Last Supper, Adoration of the Magi, and Saint John the Baptist. It’s a symbol of man’s mystical connection to God.”
“I’ve never seen it before,” Sato said. Then watch ESPN, Langdon thought, always amused to see professional athletes point skyward in gratitude to God after a touchdown or home run. He wondered how many knew they were continuing a pre-Christian mystical tradition of acknowledging the mystical power above, which, for one brief moment, had transformed them into a God capable of miraculous feats.”
So there you have it. When he points to the sky, Frank Lampard isn’t paying tribute to his mother who tragically died of pneumonia last year, he’s actually performing an ancient ritual of briefly transforming into a God.
Sandefjord star conveys joy via the medium of dry humping
While the majority of Europeans pine for the return of domestic football, our friends in Norway are midway through another Tippeligaen season.
Over the weekend, the titans of Strømsgodset faced the giants of Sandefjord, and fans were treated to a rather unusual celebration when the latter side found the back of the net. Scorer Admir Rascic and team-mate Fenan Salcinovicran to the side of the pitch and bowed down in prayer.
The respectful religious moment was ruined, however, when Espen Nystuen ran over and performed a move that wasn’t exactly family friendly.
Nystuen has since insisted that he “is heterosexual and this was only a joke”.
Steve Bruce’s best friend perfects his mid-air faceplant technique
With the FA Cup Final and the conclusion of several European major leagues happening over the weekend, somehow the tantalising friendly clash between the giants of Oman and the titans of Egypt escaped our attention. Thankfully, our boys at 101GG were paying attention to the Middle Eastern action, which Egypt won thanks to a Mohamed Aboutrika effort.
The highlight of the match happened during the subsequent goal celebration - Amr ‘The most unprofessional man Steve Bruce has ever worked with’ Zaki was keen to congratulate his teammate, but inadvertently enjoyed some face time with substitute Ahmed Eid Abdel Malek.
The result? A loss of blood and dignity, and six stitches in his face.
The standout piece of skill from Everton’s 3-2 loss to Aston Villa
This weekend raised so many questions. Were Arsenal fans right to boo Emmanuel Eboue? Did Aston Villa’s victory in a game where they were outplayed prove they can break the Big Four? Will little Eoghan win the X Factor after storming the stage in tears to disrupt Diana’s farewell song?
But the biggest of all was posed in the Everton/Aston Villa game. How did Joleon Lescott, when appearing to throw his shirt into the crowd, wheel away from the supporters a second later carrying the shirt in his other hand?
Anyone who knows the secret behind this remarkable piece of skill should let us know with a comment below.
After scoring last night, Carlos Tevez lifted his shirt to reveal a birthday message to someone named Ariel. It’s a very sincere gesture in lieu of the more traditional birthday card, but does anyone actually do the novelty celebration anymore? His shirt scrawling and dummy sucking are all a little too reminiscent of Asprilla’s jersey on the goalpost, Fowler sniffing the touchline and Ian Wright whipping up his top to celebrate breaking the Arsenal goal scoring record.
And if you need anymore proof of Tevez’s appreciation of the decade gone by, check out his New Kids on the Block dance homage in an advert for the Cartoon Network:
After scoring in hat-trick in a 5-1 drubbing of Levante on Sunday, Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o pulled a fantastic new goal celebration out of the bag.
The Cameroonian marched over to a waiting photographer, took his camera and snapped teammates Bojan Krkić and Carles Puyol. The resulting photo was then published on the front cover of sports paper Mundo Deportivo (bottom right in the video below).
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