This was meant to be the season where Ben Foster established himself as Man United and England number one. The way things are going he won’t even be at Old Trafford for much longer…

Last March, Ben Foster had only ever started one league game for Manchester United and yet somehow, on the strength of one penalty save in the Carling Cup Final, developed a reputation as a superstar.

Fabio Capello was wowed by the display and breached his own guidelines later that month to cap Foster in a friendly against Slovakia, despite the fact he wasn’t playing regular club football.

Being talked up so much in the press without actually achieving much was always going to prove problematic, especially when an Edwin van der Sar injury in pre-season provoked articles about how Foster would prove so successful that the Dutchman would never get the shirt back.

When Capello was asked what had impressed him about the 26-year-old, he said: “He plays without fear and with confidence.” His assuredness has since been eroded though by a series of horrendous blunders.

First there was the embarrassing pre-season mistake against a Malaysia XI where he failed to control a backpass, then disaster in the Community Shield, later followed by humiliation against Manchester City and most recently the screw-up for Sunderland’s second last weekend. Rumours in the press suggest the latter was the catalyst for a “furious dressing room bust-up” between the keeper and Sir Alex Ferguson.

His absence

Hertha Berlin’s Sascha Burchert punished twice for same mistake

The Spoiler had the pleasure of visiting Berlin’s imposing Olympic Stadium last month, but we turned up on the wrong day and therefore didn’t get a chance to see the rubbish team that plays there.

Despite qualifying for the Europa League this season, Hertha Berlin find themselves rock bottom of the Bundesliga following seven straight defeats. Over the weekend, they faced high-flying Hamburg and it proved to be a rough day for 19-year-old keeper Sascha Burchert. Stepping in when regular stick guard Tim Ochs came off injured, Burchert took five minutes to perform a headed clearance that resulted in an embarrassing goal. To make matters worse, the rookie keeper showed that he had learned absolutely nothing by letting almost the exact same thing happen two minutes later.

Suffering Hertha fans were also treated to an own goal, which rounded off a miserable 3-1 home defeat.

[Video: FANartisch]

Josh Wick’s boots were made for stomping

Congratulations to Seattle Sounders FC, who last night proved to the world that a competition called the US Open Cup exists by winning it. The 2-1 victory over DC United was a bitter pill to swallow for losing goalkeeper keeper Josh Wicks, who reacted to the first goal with a hearty stomp on Colombian striker Fredy Montero.

Not cool, Josh. Not cool.

They pose in homoerotic photoshoots, of course

If you thought David James was the only shot stopper to abandon modesty in front of a camera lens, think again.

As Heinz Müller made the move from Barnsley to Mainz this summer, Bild have unearthed a picture from the 31-year-old’s clothes shy past. “I was young and needed the money,” he said while reflecting on the generous distribution of suds around his man zone.

A word of advice for budding goalies: only attempt to take a free kick if you are actually awarded one

Presumably, this goalkeeper was under the impression that an offside decision had been made, and he was entitled to a free kick. Either that, or he is a pound coin short of a Robinho pay packet.

If anyone can tell us where or when this incident happened, let us know…

Make him defend something he really loves

Anyone who has seen the car park of a Premier League training ground will know that there are few things in life that a footballer holds in higher esteem than a Range Rover Sport. Keen to exploit the innate weakness for unnecessarily large luxury vehicles, Bahrain’s national coach decided prepare for a forthcoming World Cup Qualifier with Australia by putting his goalkeeper in front of a hallowed 4×4. The under-fire shot stopper does very well, even though the car actually belongs to the gaffer who is berating him.

If Guus Hiddink or Alex Ferguson wish to tighten up their slightly leaky defences, they could learn a lot from the training techniques of our friends in the Persian Gulf.

[Football Banter via Off The Post]

The Holy Goalie received his comeuppance, says Polish legend

We at The Spoiler were having trouble figuring out the reason for Artur Boruc’s massive howler against Northern Ireland at the weekend. Did he suffer a temporary rage blackout? Was he preoccupied by thoughts of T-shirts with hilariously offensive slogans on them?

Apparently not. This morning, legendary keeper and controversial pundit Jan Tomaszewski has cleared things up. The Pole - who was dubbed “The Man That Stopped England” after an outstanding performance in a World Cup qualifier in 1974 - says Boruc’s blunder was “a punishment from God”:

“Artur has no one to blame but himself. You could say he has had a punishment from God.

“He started a religious war in Glasgow and now it’s come back to haunt him. That is why he was under so much pressure in Belfast - as he is hated by most of the Protestant community.”

Polish keeper gifts a win to Northern Ireland

Nigel Worthington’s Northern Ireland went a point clear at the top of Group Three this weekend, thanks to a 61st minute error from Celtic keeper Artur Boruc.

The inexplicably angry Pole, who loves nothing more than winding up Rangers fans, was on the receiving end of laughter rather than venemous insults, as a result of his utter failure to clear Michal Zewlakow’s back-pass.