In life, it’s all about finding the positive angle in a bad situation - commonly known as the “silver lining”. Hence why fat people call themselves “big boned”.
Another such master of positive reinforcement was the Big Bad Wolf in the *Little Red Riding Hood stories, who managed - quite admirably - to find a positive spin when answering the cheeky little hoodie’s backhanded compliments about the size of his teeth.
And now, you can add Wayne Rooney to that list.
As reported in today’s Daily Mail, the prolific striker has put his marvelous form with his head down to the fact that he’s rapidly losing his hair. He said this:
Long it’s been said, “Scholes” means “goals”, so no one should really be surprised that the elderly asthmatic now has one hundred of the things to his name in the Premier League. He notched up the century against Wolves on Saturday, so to celebrate, above are ten corkers from the past. We done, Scholes!
All too often, you’ll picture an England match in your mind’s eye, and all you can see is a big man at the back hoofing it into the stands, a lonely child weeping in the crowd because his dad’s gone to the bar to get away from the crippling frustration of it all, and Mark Lawrenson sarcastically appraising the team’s efforts, in the manner of a camp office manager using irony to explain that the place needs a clean up.
Thankfully, however, every so often England will pull something special out of the bag. Hence, with view to whipping everyone up into a hysterical frenzy before tomorrow night’s match, above are some wonderful goals, and there’s more after the jump.
Remember, if you are going tomorrow, don’t boo John Terry (right Wazza?). And if you’re thinking of taking a bag of rotten vegetables to throw at him as well, think again. Whatever you do, just definitely don’t do any of that.
With the battle to keep/sign Cesc Fabregas set to rage until the summer, it’s probably as good a time as any to relive a few of his finest moments. Plus, it’s Tuesday, and Tuesday is now “Video Special” day. Those are just the rules.
As you may have recently come to realise, January is a particularly rubbish month which reaches its tedious nadir somewhere in the middle. Thankfully, the football gods are providing ample distraction from the drudgery of modern life. Last night they smiled upon grateful fans with LOADSAGOALS - no less than 18 across three of the evening’s biggest games.
The BBC managed to match the excitement of ITV’s Carling Cup gesture-a-thon on Tuesday night by offering up a 10-goal thriller (and then went and ruined it all by broadcasting Norbit straight after), while Arsenal fought back from 2-0 down against perennial bogey team Bolton.
Meanwhile in Liverpool, it was tasty Spanish wine all round at Casa Benitez, as once again, in the face of expectation Spurs - albeit with a little help from the irrepressibly shit Howard Webb - filled their pants faster than a Australian Open ball boy.
Exhibits A, B and C (plus talking points) after the jump …
The best hat-trick of goals we’ve seen this week. Watch, enjoy, vote for your favourite…
1. Maicon, Brazil vs Portugal
Intricate build-up capped with a thunderous finish. Reminiscent of Carlos Alberto’s famous goal at the 1970 World Cup - this is not as good, obviously, but it’s still a lovely strike.
The Premier League season is but eleven games old, but we have already seen plenty of high scoring games and a general increase in goals (up to 2.74 from 2.64 per game in 2007/08). Therefore, it seems pertinent to ask who the top scorer this season will be - Fernando Torres was favourite earlier in the season, but, Cristiano Ronaldo, whose slow start put him at 8/1 last month, is now the bookies’ choice.
Elsewhere, Wigan’s Amr Zaki seems unstoppable, Nicolas Anelka has stopped complaining long enough to slot eight goals away and even Darren Bent has broken his strict policy of only scoring in pre-season friendlies.
So who will ripple the net the most this season? Let us know with a vote and comment below…
Yesterday, The Spoiler boldly claimed that Darren Bent wouldn’t reach a goal tally in the double digits next season, as we presumed Juande Ramos would find someone to push him out of the regular team. The former Charlton top scorer, however, has managed to net seven goals in friendlies against Norwich (see above) and Leyton Orient this week, and it’s looking likely that he will be getting more of a run out when the season proper begins.
Have we and the mainstream media been too hasty in labelling him a flop? Will Bent silence his critics and stick away 20+ goals in Robbie Keane’s absence in the new term? Or will he still prove expensive and not particularly good in 2008/09?
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