Fortunately he didn’t have access to a golf club

In news that will undoubtedly rock the foundations of the football community, Craig Bellamy has been accused of abusing a female fan during last night’s 5-3 friendly win over Ipswich:

Bellamy was substituted with a leg injury halfway through the first half and, as he limped off, the £7million star became embroiled in a war of words.

The fan instantly reported the player’s outburst to a nearby police officer. Suffolk police spokesman Mark Norman said: “Officials of Ipswich and West Ham are both aware that an incident has taken place.” It overshadowed a thrilling night of football at Portman Road.

Allegedly the striker, who has already been in trouble with the fuzz in the closed season for going to town on a charity worker, was goaded by a female fan as he left the field. He said: “F*cking Ipswich prostitutes.” It’s very easy to lambast the tattooed Welshman for his outburst, but that’s quite a witty off-the-cuff retort for a man with whose idea of a good time is racially aggravated assault.

Striker misinterprets purpose of goodwill mission

When it comes down to it, Craig Bellamy is a good guy. If you ignore the golf club attacks on teammates, nightclub assaults on women, chair hurling, racially aggravated assault and his thoroughly unprofessional attitude to transfers, he’s just a sweet little lamb with a pure heart. In testament to that fact, he’s just set up the Craig Bellamy Foundation in Sierra Leone, using £650,000 of his own money to help the disadvantaged children of the war-torn nation. Awww.

Oh wait, he’s just gone and duffed up a charity worker after an all-day drinking session in a casino:

The incident happened in the country’s capital, Freetown, in the early hours of Saturday after Bellamy and his two former SAS bodyguards went for drinks at the Lagonda Casino.

One witness said: “Bellamy had two minders with him but within 20 minutes of his arrival there was trouble.

“He was playing on a roulette table when something seemed to upset him. He was shouting and squaring up to people at the table.

“A few seconds later he jumped on one guy and started wrestling