This man stands between you and the goal…

The big UEFA Cup news is that Everton have drawn Standard Liege in the first round. That’s one tough draw. All made slightly less terrifying by the emergence of some pictures of the Belgian team’s enormous centre back, Oguchialu Jacob Onyewu - otherwise known as Gooch - and his lady friend, draping themselves around the house. Everton will, of course, respond to these taunts by sending over pictures of Yobo and Jagielka flower arranging at a church fair, or Lescott whispering secrets to a kitten.

For another take on things, head over to Kickette.

Another worrying picture after the jump…