Will the real Mrs Steven Gerrard please stand up

If Alex Curran mugged me and I had to pick her out of this lineup at the police station, I think I’d just shut my eyes, point and hope for the best.

[Picture: Kickette]

Alex has done her bit to support the British horse racing industry, and now its your turn - have a Grand National punt with the help of chickendinner here. Also, get a free £25 bet with Betfair here.

The Grand National, Saturday, 4.15pm, BBC One, bet here

Some professionals you see daily - your colleagues, for instance, or the man who mixes your cocktail. Others, like the butcher, weekly. Some you cross paths with once every six months, such as the dentist, while a tiny number are the subject of once-a-year interaction. Such as Father Christmas. And for a large group of people, the local bookmaker. Well people, that time is now, with the National imminent, and if you are one of those who keeps this old-fashioned relationship with your turf accountant, here’s a newsflash. You don’t need to go to a betting shop to place a bet, you can do it online. Here. And like puppies at Christmas, that relationship doesn’t have to be a temporary one, they’re open on the other 364 days too. Yes, they will take your money with outrageous nonchalance. But then doesn’t everyone nowadays?

If you’re still not sure where to place your money, go to chickendinner for

The best sports on the telebox this weekend

With the FA Cup, the Miami Open finals, the Bahrain Grand Prix ATP Masters finals, Arsenal/ Liverpool and the Grand National all happening this weekend, you’re barely going to have time to enjoy the crappy weather this weekend. So schedule an appointment with your couch, but not before using the intertubes to find the best odds available on all this weekend’s sporting action.

FRIDAY

Tennis
Miami ATP Masters (Sky Sports Xtra, 6pm)

Bundesliga
MSV Duisburg/ Energie Cottbus (Setanta Sports 1, 7.30pm)

SATURDAY

Bahrain Grand Prix
Qualifying (ITV1, 12pm)

The Grand National, Saturday, 4.15pm, BBC One, bet here

When it comes to picking a winner at the Grand National, everyone has a different method - some put on blindfolds, scatter bits of paper with horses names on into a clay pot and then select at random. The handsome devils at chickendinner, however, tend to use things such as facts and logic to conjure up a winner. They’ve whittled it down to one horse, and are kind enough to share the secret with you:

» The last time a horse won with odds longer than 33/1 was in 1995 (Royal Athlete, 40/1). Eliminating all those with longer odds than 33/1, and we’re left with twenty-three horses in contention.

» The winner must have won a three-mile plus race - that counts out King John’s Castle, Royal County Star and Patsy Hall. Twenty left.

» Experts insist that the winner should be carrying between 10 and 11 stone. That eliminates Slim Pickings, Simon, Butlers Cabin, Snowy Morning, Mr Pointment, Chelsea Harbour, Hedgehunter, Lami, Vodka Bleu, Knowhere and Turko. Nine remain.

» Only six favourites have won since 1960 - that eliminates Cloudy Lane. Eight left.

The Grand National, Saturday, 4.15pm, BBC One, bet here

Monday morning - not the traditional moment for the week’s heavy lifting, but that hasn’t stopped film star and theatrical dream weaver Kevin Spacey fearlessly going for the jugular of one of the great threats to the nation’s integrity: reality television. Mr Spacey’s objection is to the BBC’s support of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Oliver” thing. “Where’s my thirteen week promotion?” he whines. “Come again?” tops the list of responses. But reality has lost its gloss: Celebrity Big Brother - appalling. The new American Idol - boring. I could go on, but an antidote is at hand: the Grand National. Forty horses, thirty fences, just jump over them and keep on running. No gimmickry, no cod