The only team missing Ronaldo more than Manchester United are
Updated - now with added Guti swearing at supporters
The Real Madrid dressing room: a place full of fragile egos, littered with haircare products, and reeking of the smell of complacency. The Spanish daily Marca has this morning reported an incident that should serve as a taster, for those who would like nothing more than to press their nose against the glass, and have their own cheeky glance inside.
On entering the dressing room at half time on Tuesday night of their hilarious Copa del Rey spanking (and already three down), veteran midfielder Guti urged his collaborators in this shambles, to try harder and work a bit more. Coach Manuel Pellegrini attempting to assert some Chilean discipline instructed Guti not only to shut it, but also to get changed - he was being taken off. To which Guti simply replied:
Italians get sexy dancers, Spaniards get crazy mimics
We don’t receive Catalan channel TV3, but if we did, we’d almost certainly tune into Crackovia, the comedy show where La Liga stars are parodied to within the inch of their lives. In the latest episode, a dead ringer for Cristiano Ronaldo chats with a fatter version of Guti, and we think it’s meant to be Sergio Ramos who emerges from the tub at the end.
We don’t speak any Catalan or Spanish, so have no clue what they are saying, but it’s all ridiculous enough to make us laugh.
The Catalonians don’t just parody their enemies, they also poke fun at their own biggest stars. We’re pretty sure the tall guy on the right is actuallyZlatan Ibrahimovic. How can there be two people in the world with a nose like that?
If you can tell us what the hell they’re talking about in these clips, do share below…
In 1999, Real Madrid midfielder Guti married Spanish model and TV personality Arancha De Benito. In what we suspect to be an argument over hair straighteners, the pair filed for divorce in 2003, but eventually patched things up. After nearly ten years of marital disharmony, however, our friends at Kickette inform us that Guti and Arancha have finally called it a day.
Waking up feeling a little bit sheepish this morning are Real Madrid, who lost at home to suburban nobodies Getafe yesterday in rather foolish circumstances.
Madrid thought they’d gone ahead when Arjen Robben tapped in, and celebrated accordingly, but were so engrossed in their self-congratulation that they’d failed to notice the goal had been disallowed for offside. Getafe marched up the other end, ignoring the celebrating Madridistas, and scored. “It was the mistake of a four-year-old,” said Guti. Especially gladdening: Arjen Robben’s expression turning to horror as the truth dawns.
Has football’s upper echelon lost the battle to keep itself strictly hetero?
The tiny group of mythical creatures such as the phoenix, the unicorn, the yeti and the Loch Ness monster is this week smaller by one, with the supposed discovery by hysterical Spanish tabloids that one of their number - a gay professional footballer - really exists.
Prying photographers reckoned they’d busted Real Madrid midfielder Guti landing a kiss square on the chops of another man outside a Madrid bar, on St Valentine’s day, no less.
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