The Spoiler

Video: Guus Hiddink breaks the law while dancing with Roman Abramovich


Departing Blues boss celebrates with dancing and illegal activity

Unencumbered by inhibition, Guus Hiddink celebrated his final game in charge of Chelsea by performing a merry little jig in the Wembley changing rooms.

The Spoiler can’t help noticing that the Dutchman is also puffing away on a huge cigar - we’re very happy to see authentic impressions of Hannibal from the A-Team, but isn’t it illegal to smoke in a football stadium? Or has Mr Abramovich magically reversed the public smoking laws for the sake of incoming cancer stick lover Carlo Ancelotti?

UPDATE: The press are now picking up on the illegality of Mr Hiddink’s festivities.

[Video: Dirty Tackle]

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Posted: June 1st, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Chelsea target £20m Milan midfielder, Paul Scholes offered move to Stoke


The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Andrea Pirlo

Andrea Pirlo to Chelsea

It’s inevitable that Carlo Ancelotti will bring some Milanese talent to West London with him, and The Telegraph believe his first choice is girly-named midfielder Andrea Pirlo. AC will apparently accept no less than £20m.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: We can’t see Chelsea splashing that kind of cash on a 30-year-old, but stranger things have happened.

Paul Scholes to Stoke
Clearly impressed by his bone crunching tackle on Sergio Biscuits earlier this week, Stoke will offer Scholesy a player/coach position next season, say The Daily Mail. The Potters will offer a ‘nominal fee’ (read: ‘very small fee’)

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Posted: May 29th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Vote: Who should be Chelsea’s manager next season?


Should Abramovich persuade the Goose to stay?

As Chelsea completed their final home game of the season, the Stamford Bridge faithful were very clear about who they wanted in charge next season.

This morning, The Sun reported that Carlo Ancelotti has accepted a move to West London, but if yesterday’s chants of “You can stick Ancelotti up your arse” are anything to go by, the Italian will not exactly receive a hero’s welcome.

So, should Roman Abramovich risk the wrath of his home nation by pulling some strings to steal Guus Hiddink away permanently, or should he formally pursue Silvio Berlusconi’s least favourite manager? Or perhaps it’s time for the oligarch to swallow some pride and bring Mourinho back into the fold? Let us know your thoughts below…

[Video: ONTD]

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Posted: May 18th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Franck Ribery to turn down Manchester Utd, Pavlyuchenko offered Moscow loan deal


The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Roman Pavlyuchenko

Roman Pavlyuchenko back to Spartak Moscow
Pavlyuchenko insists he is happy at Spurs, but in light of the fact that Tottenham have been linked to every player under the sun for the past few months, rumours that he no longer has a future at The Lane are growing. According to The Daily Mail, a source at the striker’s former club says he would be welcome back on loan.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Guus Hiddink would certainly like to see his Russian star getting more games, and he has made his opinion about English food and women very clear, but it all depends if ‘Arry brings in some new faces in the summer.

Joey Barton to Bolton
If The Spoiler was in charge, vile oxygen thief Joey Barton would never be allowed near

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Posted: May 8th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Liverpool to poach Russian Chelsea target, Man City linked with £35m Spanish sensation


The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Yuri Zhirkov

Yuri Zhirkov to Liverpool
Chelsea have been interested in the ‘Russian Ronaldinho’ for some time,
but The Liverpool Daily Post are suggesting Rafa could jump in with a €17m offer.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Yes, Liverpool are after a left-sided fullback, but for some reason we think Guus Hiddink will have more sway over the young Russian’s future.

David Villa to Manchester City
Since Arsenal have insinuated an intention to replace Adebayor with Roque Santa Cruz, Manchester City have lost interest and once again turned their attention to Euro 2008 sensation David Villa. They were quoted a reasonable asking price of £128m in January,

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Posted: May 1st, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Video: Barcelona/ Chelsea Champions League Highlights


The Blues park the bus at the Nou Camp

Barcelona 0/ Chelsea 0
We’re not calling Guus Hiddink a liar, but the lying Dutchman promised us balls-out, attacking football at the Nou Camp. Instead, Chelsea put up the barricades, virtually refusing to play football from the outset.

Perhaps they were deliberately playing for a draw, or perhaps they were attempting an experimental technique of letting the opposition have the ball so much that they tired themselves out. Either way, Blues fans couldn’t have asked for much more when facing the Catalan giants at home.

By the way, a man named Leo Messi went completely missing at half time. If anyone saw an Argentinean who looks great in pants after around 8.45pm, please let us know.

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Posted: April 29th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Real Madrid’s huge striker bid, “Ronaldo the Movie” and Guus Hiddink’s Barcelona war cry


Also appearing on a computer near you…

West Ham fans inform John Terry of his mother’s tendency to shoplift. Hear them say naughty things to Lampsie here

Real Madrid want to give Zlatan Ibrahimovic an outrageous amount of money to under perform in big games
[Goal.com]

Interestment’s Football Munchkin XI
[Interestment]

(Fat) Ronaldo’s story might be made into a film
[Dirty Tackle]

Never gonna happen: Franz Beckenbauer wants Guus Hiddink at Bayern Munich
[Daily Mail]

The very same Guus Hiddink wants to “put the brakes on” Barcelona
[The Guardian]

Paul Scholes doesn’t mind winning ugly
[Sky Sports]

The Spoiler recommends: Bumpy Pitch T-shirts. They’re good quality and they look pretty darn good - check them out here

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Posted: April 28th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Vote: Who should Chelsea appoint as their next manager?


Carlo Ancelotti is now odds-on to take charge in the summer

Following David Beckham’s revelation that Carlo Ancelotti is learning English, the AC Milan boss has been cut to just 4/6 with Sky Bet to be appointed Chelsea’s next permanent manager.

However, while acknowledging that winning the Champions League twice is an impressive achievement, The Spoiler doesn’t believe that the Italian has had enough success domestically to justify being Chelsea’s first choice.

But what do you think? Let us know who the Blues should go for with a vote and comment below:

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Posted: April 23rd, 2009 by Michael Lintorn