Rumour spreads like wildfire through social networking site

Apparently, it has yet to dawn on most Twitter users that the site is a humongous waste of time, as thousands of German users were last night duped into believing Michael Ballack was about to return home.

A ‘Tweeter’ named @sachark set the ball rolling yesterday with the following message, which we have clumsily kindly translated:

“On the next table on the ICE [a type of German train], there are two prominent agents and a lawyer. For the last fifteen minutes they have been discussing Ballack’s transfer to Hamburger SV.”

Within minutes, the rumour spread across the social networking site like a Danielle Lloyd STD across the Tottenham dressing room. Many excited football fans were convinced the German captain was about to become a Hamburg player, and were apparently undeterred by the fact that the club could never afford his €20m+ transfer fee or extortionate wages.

The story has been picked up by the major players in the German media, including Bild and the Hamburger Abendblatt, forcing HSV spokesman Jörn wolf to issue a denial:

“This is a duck [a German idiom that means it isn’t true]. We have had no contact with Ballack.”

Twitter user @sachark is still adamant that his train-based discovery is valid, and has since responded by saying “the bluebird of Twitter is no duck.”

Also appearing on a computer near you…

If Chelsea fans feel hard done by, spare a thought for Hamburg, who were denied a UEFA Cup final place by a piece of paper
[Off The Post]

Adriano - who felt the need to tattoo his name on his forearm - is back in the game
[Dirty Tackle]

Theo Walcott earns a brand new £60k-a-week contract
[Daily Mail]

Contrary to popular opinion, John Terry is a true gent
[Pies]

The bookies bring bad news for Newcastle
[The Guardian]

Rugby WAG Kelly Brook poses for Nuts
[On205th]

Welsh striker suffers his 13th knee injury in six-and-a-half years

Mark Hughes has endured another blow in his difficult first season as Manchester City manager, with the news that Craig Bellamy is unlikely to play again in 2008/09.

The Welsh manager, who 55% of Spoiler readers believe should be replaced in the summer, spent £14 million on the 29-year-old striker, who started just 20 league games in 18 months at former club West Ham because of injuries.

Bellamy has scored twice in eight league games since signing but

Manchester City/Hamburg, UEFA Cup Qtr-final, 7.45pm, ITV4

Paddy Power and Bet365 are offering 3/1 on Manchester City overcoming their 3-1 deficit in tonight’s match with Hamburg, but the statistics suggest that they will have to perform out of their skins to do so. Our friends at chickendinner say:

» Hamburg have only won five of their 14 away league games and have drawn one and lost four of their five visits to fellow Bundesliga top six sides.

» Despite this, their European record is amazing. The German side have won all five of their UEFA Cup away games, scoring 12 and conceding just three. They have scored at least two in every game and kept three clean sheets.

Hamburg/Man City, UEFA Cup Qtr-Final 1st Leg, 7.45pm, ITV4

Martin Jol’s Hamburg are available at 11/10 with Boylesports to win the home leg of their UEFA Cup quarter-final clash with Manchester City. A glance at their home record suggests that those odds are very generous, say chickendinner:» Hamburg have played 21 matches at the HSH Nordbank Arena, winning 16 of those, drawing three and losing just two.

» In contrast, Manchester City have won just one of their last 19 on the road, drawing seven and losing 11 of those games.

» Only five of the last 14 English UEFA Cup quarter-finalists have progressed

A managerial edition of our daily transfer roundup

As you can see, Franz Beckenbauer and Jurgen Klinsmann used to be in love. After last night’s humiliation, however, things aren’t so rosey…

Jurgen Klinsmann faces the sack
Over-opinionated Bayern Munich president Franz Beckenbauer has called his side’s first half performance against Barcelona “the worst in the club’s history.” German newspaper Bild are leading with the headline “Klinsi close to the exit,” and they go on to say “If the directors don’t fire him straight away, it’s obvious that his job will be on the line for each league game.”

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Currently languishing in fourth place in the Bundesliga, and having suffered a piss poor 5-1 defeat at Wolfsburg last weekend, Klinsmann must be very close to seeking alternative employment.

Carlo Ancelotti to Chelsea
According to The Sun, the Italian has told Chelsea he is ready to take over from Guus Hiddink in the summer. A contract worth around £5.8m a year has been discussed, and should be signed and sealed in June.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Ancelotti says he has a gentleman’s

The latest gossip, rumours and damned lies…

In a triumph of dignity over truckloads of cash, Kaka has snubbed Manchester City’s advances, causing The Sun to publish their worst headline of all time: “Stabbed in the Kak.” While City fans try and make sense of that nonsensical attempt at vulgar innuendo, they can also despair at the news that Robinho has stormed out of their Tenerife training camp and is on his way back to Brazil.

While we ponder their next move in the market (David Villa, anyone?), here’s the latest in Transferland…

Tom Huddlestone to Hamburg
The Daily Mail believe the young Spurs midfielder is all set to link up with old gaffer Martin Jol, who considers him the best player of his type and age in Europe.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Only a handful of players seem safe under the Redknapp regime, and Huddlestone’s replacement Didier Zokora is one of them. Jol has also been promised a replacement for the imminently City-bound Nigel de Jong.

Jermaine Pennant to Portsmouth
The south coast club have agreed terms with the Liverpool star, who is said to favour

Germans forced to train in -14°C conditions

While Hamburg and Bayern Munich are enjoying the pleasant 21°C climate of the United Arab Emirates, their Bundesliga colleagues aren’t having such a wonderful time.

FC Köln, pictured above, are enduring a -13°C freeze, while Hertha Berlin’s coach is attempting to beat the chill at the training ground by putting plastic bags over his socks.

Fortunately, our German friends aren’t big on complaining - they haven’t made gloves thick enough to make someone like Didier Drogba go and play in those kinds of conditions.

[Bild]