Tomorrow’s headlines today…

Arsene Wenger admitted in June that he’s been tracking the progress of Vincent Kompany since he was 16, but that he wouldn’t sign him this summer because his defence didn’t need strengthening (which seems strange considering they’ve just bought Mikael Silvestre).

Anyway, it looks like someone at the City of Manchester Stadium with supersonic hearing listened to Wenger coo and decided the Belgian defender might be a useful asset. His German club Hamburg, managed by Steve McClaren impersonator Martin Jol, have confirmed that they have agreed

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Reportedly, Hamburg’s Martin Jol politely enquired as to whether Liverpool would part with Dutch striker-turned-winger Dirk Kuyt, but was left petrified, alarmed and severely shaken after Rafa Benitez mentioned the £16m price tag. With no new wingers arriving, he will be needed again at Anfield, so a transfer looks unlikely.

Benni McCarthy to Blackburn
McCarthy doesn’t match any of Roy Keane’s three transfer target requirements (played for Manchester Utd, played in the Championship, comes from Ireland) yet a £7 million offer for the South Africa is being readied.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Keane wants another striker and Santa Cruz has stolen Benni’s thunder, but Ince may want to keep hold for now

Gael Givet to West Ham
East London can breathe

Ronaldo may have to face up to his big scary boss after all

In contrast with his normal propensity to stir the Cristiano Ronaldo transfer broth, Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon has insisted brand new £11.8m midfielder Rafael van der Vaart represents the club’s only venture into the transfer market this summer:

“We are certain that he will be a player who will help us complement the already very strong squad we have.

“He is the first and almost certainly the last signing we will make this season.“

With this news, it looks as though the prostitutes of Spain will have to wait for at least another year before they get their huge Ronaldo-based windfall…

[Reuters via The Offside]

Spoiler bonus: Those lucky blighters in Spain are now in the enviable position of sharing a country with Rafael’s wife Sylvie van der Vaart

She’s Dutch, and better looking than Dirk Kuyt

Damn it man, Sylvie isn’t just any old WAG, she’s an actress turned WAG, who married her love on live television in Holland back in the heady days of 2005. That makes her one heck of a gal, and Rafael van der Vaart one lucky attacking midfielder/striker.