Yeah, those contract negotiations didn’t quite go to plan…
Were you to study the narrative structure of a typical soap opera, you’d find that the trend seems to be pretty consistent. A character starts out happy/stable, then everything goes wrong for a bit, before eventually they become happy/stable again. Or dead. If you want a writing job on Eastenders, simply repeat this format for as many years as you can stomach.
In soap opera terms, Joe Cole is currently caught up in the middle bit - where Dirty Den has just asked for a divorce, or Toadfish has been stabbed in the spine by Mrs Mangel. His World Cup hopes are all but dashed, and the word from today’s Daily Star is that he’s recently been offered an appalling contract to stay on at Chelsea. One which he’s going to refuse.
Whilst showbiz desks are going berserk over pictures of Rachel Stevens’ new-look womanly thighs, which she chose to unveil at last night’s Baftas, sports desks are equally agog today with news of a rather unlikely alliance.
It’s common knowledge that only a big war can unite local rivals - a fact delicately played out with touching sentimentality by Lando Calrissian and Han Solo in the Empire Strikes Back - but no one ever saw this one coming.
Like a sobbing child at a birthday party who has spent the whole afternoon throwing up in a flowerpot, Pavlyuchenko is now desperate to put an end to his ongoing Spurs humiliation by going home to Russia. And yet Henry Redknapp just won’t let him leave. How come?
As reported in today’s Daily Mail, Lokomotiv Moscow - who are allowed to buy until mid-March - had all but made a deal to snaffle the striker, before Henry barged into the room like a man dragging the corpse of Osama Bin Laden, and put the kibosh on the deal.
Lokomotiv president Nikolai Naumov said this:
“It’s our understanding that the view within Tottenham is split. The directors have no objection to selling the player, but the coach wants to keep him till at least the summer.”
Redknapp did, of course, part with Robbie Keane in January, but with Gudjohnsen in, and Pavlyuchenko unlikely to really put his back into it should he get a chance to play, is it really worth keeping hold of a man who must surely be killing the dressing room vibe?
As the transfer window continues to pay a curious homage to the year 2005, it looks like Spurs may yet swoop in and land Eidur Gudjohnsen - once quite good at Chelsea, then a bit limp at Barcelona, now without a goal for Monaco.
West Ham had been leading the race for the retro centre forward - who no doubt charges “vintage” second hand prices now - and he was expected to undergo some kind of medical prodding and squeezing this afternoon, but a rumour rising from today’s Daily Mail suggests that he might just plump for Tottenham Hotspur instead.
Away from the muddy pitches and changing rooms that smell of Deep Heat and wet socks, the world of football is a glamourous one. It’s all cordoned off cocktail drinking areas in wine bars, personal shoppers, and snazzy dinners.
One such meal enjoyed very very recently by Henry Redknapp, who has been spotted scoffing an intimate three-courser with Rodger Linse - known in the trade as “Ruud van Nistelrooy’s agent”.
In a real life recreation of the final scenes of It’s a Wonderful Life where everyone who Jimmy Stewart has ever helped suddenly turns up at his house to pay their dues, there is a rumour going around the Daily Mirror that David James will soon be heading to Spurs to say one last “thank you” to his old boss, Henry Redknapp, before eventually hanging up his massive foam goalkeeping gloves for good.
Tottenham will be going head-to-head with Stoke in a bid to land the England keeper, with Portsmouth understandably keen to cut their wage bill during the transfer window.
In a move known in the trade as “The Reverse Sol Campbell”, the word on the street is that Mathieu Flamini might yet find himself back in North London, only this time in the luminous white of Tottenham Hotspur.
The former Arsenal man has been having a torrid time of things at AC Milan, and has reportedly become rather miffed about constantly playing out of position at full-back.
Loading ...