Portuguese man-o’-sex wants to meet injured golf legend

Cristiano Ronaldo knows he is brilliant at football, great at sex and looks wonderful in a nice pair of shiny hotpants. Clearly, he’s got it all. Yet the one thing he truly desires - with the obvious exception of a transfer to a club based in Spain’s capital - is a meeting with his sporting icon Tiger Woods:

“In terms of footballers, I have met everyone,” he said. “But I’d like to meet Tiger Woods. He’s phenomenal.

“My golf is very bad. I don’t like to play golf but I like to watch it.”

Wait a minute, did Cristiano Ronaldo just say he was bad at something? What possible reason could he have for temporarily abandoning his unfaltering self confidence? Could it be that he is deliberately trying to raise the profile of a fellow Nike endorser who has been off the golf radar for some time?