Profit collected at White Hart Lane’s revolving door

It was revealed today on Sky Sports that just four Premier League teams made a profit over the summer and not one of them was Arsenal.

Blackburn made a net gain thanks to the £15 million they received for David Bentley and West Ham made the biggest profit of anyone after selling half of their first team. It is also being claimed that Chelsea made a profit but The Spoiler’s calculator doesn’t come to that conclusion (surely the £24.2 million spent on Deco and Jose Bosingwa exceeds the £19 million gained on Shaun Wright-Phillips, Steve Sidwell and Tal Ben-Haim?). The other team to have received more than they spent were Tottenham.

Today’s alliterated movers and shakers in the world of soccerball

The papers believe Frank Lampard is one step closer to the European fashion capital because Jose Mourinho has taken five days off his holiday to broker the deal. Yes, that’s a full five days he’s missing from his year-long vacation, so you know he means business.

Cristiano Ronaldo latest
Sir Alex Ferguson’s threat to let Ronaldo rot in the reserves is threatened by a FIFA ruling allowing players to rip up their contracts if they don’t play in 10% of matches. We doubt Fergie will be too scared: he could just play him in the Community Shield, League Cup, a nothing Champions League group game and against Hull and Stoke.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Another stupid FIFA rule that will have little effect on the deal

Italian football to accept Adebayor defeat
AC Milan no longer believe they have a divine right to any Premier League player they want and will give up pursuit of Adebayor after Arsenal rejected an offer. Real Madrid may wish to take note. Dick Advocaat’s announcement that Andrei Arshavin will move to Spain or England won’t do much good for Italy’s ego either.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Kudos to Milan if true

Aaron Lennon to Newcastle
So let’s get this straight. After a massive losing streak, King Kev stumbled

Today’s transfer rumours, as made up to fill column inches in the nationals

Aside from the superteam that the papers are dreaming up at Chelsea, the other big news today comes from Spurs. Apparently Darren ‘purchase of the season’ Bent is looking for pastures new, and Roy Keane’s Sunderland could be the team to pay him £30k a week to finally get off the bench…

Heurelho Gomes to Tottenham
Gomes claims the proud honour of being the 571st goalkeeper linked with Spurs this summer. At this rate Paul Robinson will be starting the opening game.The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Would be a good signing for Spurs

Darren Bent to Sunderland
Has anyone noticed how quiet things have grown on the Berbatov front? Instead it’s Darren Bent who is apparently the striker most eager to escape North London.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Could depend Berbatov’s movements

Fernando Torres, Franck Ribery, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Deco and Robinho to Chelsea
The kitchen sink will shortly be arriving on a Bosman.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Deco likely, Robinho maybe, the others doubtful.

Marcus Bent to Hull
A day after The Spoiler highlighted one of the newly promoted clubs as the most likely location for that other striker called Bent, The Sun reports