Textile millionaire’s consortium may not exist

Sunderland fans aren’t the only ones trying to make a monkey out of Newcastle Utd at the moment - today, the ailing club appear to have been the subject of a hoax takeover bid.

A press release issued on behalf of a textiles entrepreneur named Rick Parkinson circulated this morning, claiming the Ponteland businessman is leading a five-man consortium which intends to place a £90m bid on the club. Apparently, the prospective owners pledge to sink £30m into restructuring the business and a further £30m into a transfer kitty for Alan Shearer, the man they would install as permanent manager.

It sounds like a dream scenario for the Toon Army, but the credibility of the bid has been called into question. Seymour Pierce - the investment bankers charged with the gruelling task of selling the club - have not heard from Parkinson, and “well-placed sources” in the city know nothing of his proposed consortium.

Parkinson claims his troupe of knights in shining armour will contact the club within the next ten days (although not via the email address on the Newcastle OS - something he calls “undignified and without class”), but a press release from distributed via an unnamed PR agency to journalists has not inspired confidence in the validity of his plans.

The Telegraph quotes Parkinson thusly:

“I’m a Geordie through-and-through and it’s been heart-wrenching to see the club, and their long-suffering fans, being put through the Mill (sic) like this.

“This week’s latest developments, with the club trying to sell itself via an e-mail address on the official website, is just the final straw in what has been a wholly embarrassing tenure for Mr Ashley.

“It’s time for him to sell-up, and I believe the time is right for me to step forward. I’ve been

Several media outlets tricked by fake player

There’s been a lot of buzz around 16-year-old Moldavan attacker Masal Bugduv of late - The Times listed the fledgling FC Olimpia Bălţi star at number 30 in their list of the 50 hottest footballing talents, while Goal.com reported a keen interest from Arsenal.

There’s just one problem - the player doesn’t actually exist:

Goal.com would like to apologise for any confusion over the snippet of information we published over phantom prodigy Masal Bugduv, who is apparently as elusive as a home win at Stamford Bridge recently. We received information from a fake Associated Press report, and we are sorry to pass this on. Still, unlike some publications we did not even begin to imply that we had watched him play - merely that he was in a provisional squad list and was attracting attention, as per the (forged) AP report.

The Guardian have galloped in on their high horse to chuckle at those who were duped by what sounds like a plausible AP release, and the excellent Fiver have even found a way of getting a cheeky mention on the FC Olimpia Bălţi Wikipedia page.

Despite his lack of existence, Harry Redknapp and Mark Hughes are said to be battling it out for his signature.