The Daily Mail are claiming Premier League clubs have been leaving the well-being of their multi-million pound stars in the hands of a Serbian housewife who locals describe as ‘looking like Morticia Addams’.
Since her cover was blown by Robin van Persie on Tuesday, Mariana Kovacevic has gone into hiding, leaving the world’s press (and Serbian health officials, who have no record of this horse-guts operation existing) camped outside her clinic in New Belgrade, waiting for her to get back:
Within five minutes of each other Arsenal’s Van Persie left in one direction, while Liverpool pair Glen Johnson and Fabio Aurelio arrived from the other. By last night it appeared that Kovacevic may have already moved her placenta supplies and massage table elsewhere.
Injured Arsenal striker Robin van Persie is to fly to Serbia to undergo a radical treatment which will involve rubbing fluid from a placenta into his hurt ankle.
As far as The Spoiler can remember from its Biology lessons, the placenta is the organ which allows food and air, as well as poo and wee, to pass between mother and foetus. Placental therapy is especially common in the Far East, where it has been used for repairing injuries to muscle tissue.
Van Persie told reporters:
I am going to receive treatment from a female doctor. She is vague about her methods but I know she first massages you for a long time with placenta fluid. I’m going to give it a try. It can’t do any harm and if it helps it helps.
With a contract at one of the biggest football clubs in the world and a girlfriend who has won the Dutch FHM Sexiest Woman in the World award twice, it’s no exaggeration to say Wesley Sneijder is the greatest man alive.
His unpronounceable ladyfriend Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen not only has fabulous good looks and eight sisters (!), but she is also willing to commit some extremely sexy/bizarre acts to film. Look here! She’s licking cream off of a friend’s bottom in a car park! Look above! She’s kissing a lady! And look below! She’s helping old people cross the street in her underwear for absolutely no reason!
Plenty more NSFW-ish Yolanthe videos after the jump…
Will you be watching the Three Lions go Dutch tomorrow?
With the exception of “injured” self defence expert Steven Gerrard, Fabio Capello’s England squad travelled to Amsterdam today to prepare for tomorrow night’s friendly with The Netherlands.
Understandably, several Premier League managers are less than delighted that a full programme of international fixtures has been scheduled just three days before the start of the Premier League season: Roy Hodgson and Martin O’Neill have vented their fears, and brand new Black Cat Steve Bruce has gone as far as saying there shouldn’t be any international friendlies at all:
“I’ve never known anything like it before. I don’t know why there are internationals scheduled this week.
“I’m baffled and it really is total nonsense. International friendlies should be banned anyway.”
The managers clearly aren’t impressed by this friendly, and it’s unlikely that the players are savouring a pan-European trip for a meaningless game just hours before the start of a new season. But is the game actually of any interest to fans? Are you keen to see the Three Lions get some vital practise before September’s crunch tie with Croatia, or would you rather be watching Coronation Street/ Midsomer Murders/ whatever crap ITV show on a Wednesday?
Let us know your thoughts below…
Spoiler promotion:Why not make the game more interesting by having a punt? For all your football betting needs, visit bwin
Wesley Sneijder divorced his wife Ramona Streekstra in January, and hasn’t wasted any time in getting back in the game. Our girls at Kickette inform us that the Real Madrid star has started seeing Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen.
The 24-year-old has carved out a career in modelling and TV presenting in the Netherlands, and for her efforts, the Dutch have voted her FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World twice (2006 and 2007 if you must know).
What with all the football news thundering into The Spoiler HQ minute after minute, day after day, week after week etc, sometimes little gems like this slide silently under the radar. It’s hardcore rhymesman/football player, Ryan Babel, hip hopping in a rap studio.
If you’re having trouble understanding the words, don’t worry, it’s because most of them are in Dutch. Apart from “motherfucker”, of course, which apparently has no translation.
Liverpool star is an excellent pretend rocker, apparently
The folks at Popbitch seldom miss the mark when it comes to juicy gossip and little-known facts, and in this week’s newsletter they supply details of Dirk Kuyt’s incredulous past:
Dirk Kuyt was the air guitar champion of Holland for four years running.
Could it be true? Did the Dutchman shun training to learn air scales and perfect his air finger tapping technique? Or is this story as real as, well, Dirk’s guitar?
If you have any info on Mr Kuyt’s pseudo-musical side, let us know.
Perhaps one day someone will start a sentence with “there’s an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman” without it being a joke about people in boxes saying “potatoes” - it could even be used to introduce a Great British football line up. How wonderful would that be? Although, of course, the Irishman would have to come from the less green-grassy part of the emerald isle, and more the cobbled street bit where horses run wild (that’s the north, right?). Until that day, though, we’re going to have to content ourselves by gazing jealously at the other countries who get to call their footballers Olympians. Here’s eleven to keep a hungry eye on this year…
GK Brad Guzan, USA
Aston Villa’s (other) new American goalkeeper called Brad, the USA’s decision to make him one of their three over-23 players - he turns 24 during the tournament - shows just how great he is. That, of course, will count for nothing when he gets to Villa and warms the bench for the next decade, as Friedel becomes steadily more decrepit but still brilliant.
DL Marcelo, Brazil
Real Madrid signed the left wing-back in 2007 and he became a regular starter last season, pushing Gabriel Heinze into the centre. Unsurprisingly, he gets compared to Roberto Carlos - everyone does - and found the net on his international debut against Wales.
DC Vincent Kompany, Belgium
For those who spend their weekends playing Football Manager instead of talking to girls, you already know this guy, he’s one of the best buys in the game, damn it! And as it turns out, the 22-year-old isn’t too shabby in real life either. Right now he’s at Martin Jol’s Hamburg, and The Spoiler’s computerised West Ham.
DC Ezequiel Garay, Argentina
With all the Ronaldo talk this summer, Garay’s arrival at the
Loading ...