The newlywed who could become a newlydivorced very soon

Late last year, Sunderland striker Rocky Michael Chopra (yes, that is his first name) announced that he had become engaged to girlfriend Heather Swan. Their relationship was cemented by the birth of their first son Sebastian Rocco Thomas Chopra in February of this year, and they enjoyed a lavish £250,000 wedding ceremony last month.

Instead of heading off on their Barbados honeymoon to begin a life of wedded bliss, however, they publicly fought like cat and dog, and Chopra stormed home leaving Heather alone in paradise. Since then, the one-month marriage has taken a turn for the worse, and Chopra is reported to be living in rented accommodation.

Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline. The Sun claim the Manchester Utd striker’s summer of laying stagnant in a pool, emerging only to drink and eat fast food, has had a serious effect on his physique. He looked a bit portly in a friendly against Aberdeen this weekend, but wasn’t he always a little more rotund than is desirable for a professional footballer?

If you want to see a striker who has really been piling it on, check out this guy:

Ronaldo, whose contract with AC Milan ended two weeks ago, is pictured testing the tensile strength of a yacht in Ibiza. It looks like he and pregnant WAG Bia Anthony are really enjoying the local cuisine…

Wayne finally leaves the swimming pool, but doesn’t venture far

Up until yesterday, only the promise of cheap fast food had been enough to lure Wayne and Coleen Rooney away from the steps of The Wynn hotel’s swimming pool. Now, however, the Manchester Utd striker has branched out to see what the rest of Las Vegas has to offer, by moving a few feet inside the building to the Wynn’s nightclub Blush.

He’s pictured above sharing a (carbohydrate-filled and alcoholic) beverage with heavily tattooed basketball star LeBron James. Whether Coleen was still shrivelling away in the pool at this point is unknown.

Will Wayne and Coleen ever stray more than twenty yards from their hotel? Will this honeymoon go down as one of the most boring in history? The case continues…

[Fan Nation]

Please Wayne, do SOMETHING!

Okay, now we’re all starting to feel awkward. Last week, The Spoiler showcased Wayne Rooney’s unbelievable lack of imagination as he and his new bride, Coleen, spent the first three days of their honeymoon languishing in the hotel pool until their entire bodies wrinkled like stewed prunes. But shockingly it didn’t end there. They’re still at it!

For Christ’s sake, hurry up and start Premier League season - these long watery silences are becoming unbearable!

Disturb yourself with pictures of Day Four and Day Five after the jump.

Cigarettes and fast food help Wayne stay fit in his summer break

The Wynn Casino is one of the best in Las Vegas, boasting no less than fifteen award winning restaurants. Guests, for example, may enjoy the Michelin-starred delights of celebrity chef Alessandro Stratta in Alex, or the equally Michelin-starred delicacies avaliable in Chinese eatery Wing Lei.

If your surname is Rooney, however, you’ll probably prefer to nip over the road to the Fashion Show Mall, where the culinary highlights include KFC, Subway and Wendy’s. Stay classy, Wayne.

(Also, congratulations are in order for Coleen and Wayne for staying in Las Vegas for so long. Anything longer than a couple of days would drive most people insane.)

See the picture of Wayne and Coleen tucking into a sumptuous Wendy’s meal right here

We give it three years… tops

Wise men say that the key to a long happy marriage is variety. You need to mix it up. Of course, we would all like to eat ham and chips every day, and make great missionary love by night, but women are complicated creatures. They actually like change.

So, great big alarm bells have started sounding as more and more pictures of Wayne and Coleen’s swish Vegas honeymoon keep appearing on the internet. It’s about a week into their marriage and they’ve already run out of things to do. Lounging by the pool was a fantastic idea on day one, Wayne - truly inspired - but it’s now been three whole days. Ronaldo would be spinning in his grave. Were he dead.

Witness the shocking pictures after the jump…