The Spoiler

Phil Brown ‘orders Hull players to see a shrink’


Gaffer is ‘concerned about the mental state’ of Irish trio…

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Hull’s Irish trio Paul McShane, Kevin Kilbane and Stephen Hunt would’ve cut depressing figures today, having returned to the club’s training ground. With so many players involved in Handball-gate, The Spoiler would have thought Tigers boss Phil Brown would be waiting with open arms, ready to provide a shoulder to cry on.

But (not for the first time) we’d be wrong. Instead, the three were told to go and get their heads checked by a psychologist in time for Saturday’s clash with West Ham. According to the Daily Star, a club source said:

[Sports psychologist Mark] Nesti can help them prepare for games and be mentally ready. Such a massive disappointment can take its toll and be hard to overcome. So it is important to find out what sort of place they are in.

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Posted: November 20th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Leeds fan has record for most managerial rejection letters


Possibly the worst world record, on record

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In a story which will be cited for years to come as proof human endeavor knows no bounds, Leeds fan Andy Ballantyne has been crowned as the official Guinness World Record holder for (deep breath) the most rejection letters ever received in application to a managerial post at a football club.

Andy has been knocked back from his own club, Celtic, Hull, Spurs, England (twice) and recently got a ‘thanks, but no thanks’ letter from Sven for the Notts County job.

The obsession started after applying to take the reins at Spurs in 1998, he told the Yorkshire Evening Post:

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Posted: November 19th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Mexico’s ’80s inspired kit, Tevez is an ideal housewife, and the Blues Brothers


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Well in.

Luke Young retires from international football
[BBC Football]

I think a “LOL” is in order here. Is that Adrian from Rocky?
[Pies]

After the Rafa/Phil Brown/Jedward mashup of a few days ago, Fleet Street’s Photoshop goons are excelling themselves
[The Sun]

Carlton Cole - Liverpool’s unlikely hero?
[Caught Offside]

Mexico’s new kit takes inspiration from the shittest fashion trend in a long while
[ONTD]

Behind the scenes at WC2010
[Daily Mail]

Schumacher’s 1994 Benetton car? Yours for £2m
[Telegraph]

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Posted: November 11th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Broke Hull give injury-hit Ian Ashbee new £20k contract


Despite the Tigers skipper being on the brink of retirement…

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Recently departed Hull chairman Paul Duffen clearly hasn’t been keeping up with Dean Ashton’s troubles at West Ham. According to The Mirror, one of his last acts before leaving was to give club captain Ian Ashbee a brand new £20,000 p/w contract.

Considering Ashbee is a Tigers legend, having captained the club from League Two to the Premier League, this wouldn’t typically be an issue - except the 34-year-old midfielder has been ruled out of the whole 09/10 season with a cruciate ligament injury which could force him into retirement. Oh, and Hull are already £27m in debt … mainly thanks to their crippling wage bill.

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Posted: November 11th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

ESPN lure the American audience with Fulham vs Hull


For those who don’t care much for Panorama

Big big game

If tonight’s Panorama, promising a gritty investigation into life on a Bristol estate, doesn’t appeal, some even grittier action is available on ESPN this evening. Hull did the double over Fulham last season, so Hodgson’s men will be hoping to take a tentative step on the recovery road back from such shame, by dealing with the Tigers tonight.

Sky Sports 1 at 7:30 is the place to be if you like your Premier League nostalgia, as Leeds host Norwich. Whilst for those curious to see how the younger members of Chelsea squad can defend the dead ball, Chelsea TV at 7 is the place to watch Chelsea Reserves vs West Ham reserves.

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Posted: October 19th, 2009 by Eliot Pollak

Portsmouth chase Benitez, Bullard’s return and Zola’s tempting offer


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Fergie’s Space-time continuum

The Guardian Gallery takes a look at Fergie’s space-time continuum

Fergie’s managerial greatness questioned
[DJ Mick]

Portsmouth are unpaid and lovin’ it
[Dirty Tackle]

Are the aforementioned Portsmouth chasing after Rafa Benitez?
[Caught Offside]

David Beckham’s beard inspires a lazy beard compilation that we wish we had thought of first
[Daily Mail]

Hull hope to benefit from the Bullard bounce
[Betfair Football]

Gianfranco Zola could be tempted to Napoli
[The Telegraph]

Darren Bent reveals concern for the ozone and a love of Katy Perry
[ChannelBee]

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Posted: October 7th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Phil Brown stops a woman jumping off a bridge


Hull boss “sweet-talks” girl contemplating suicide 

There’s an old adage among top flight managers: if you’re team has only won two of their last 29 matches, take them for a walk on a suspension bridge. Phil Brown did exactly this yesterday, taking his woeful troops for an “inspirational” stroll across the Humber Bridge. While avoiding the question of why he took his team to a suicide hotspot for inspiration, the orange boss has nonchalantly revealed how he talked down a jumper:

“We walked across the Humber Bridge on Wednesday and saved a girl actually.”

“She was considering her future, shall we say, but you never know whether somebody is just standing there until they jump. But there was no need to be up there unless you were a football team looking for inspiration. Maybe she must have seen us and thought ‘at least it’s not that bad’. Well for me in particular - not the players.

“She was claiming she was 40-plus, but she looked a lot younger I tell you. Nobody said she was going to jump. She was contemplating her future, but so was I. In the end she tootled off back to wherever she had come from. I’d sweet-talked her out of it.”

Phil certainly deserves praise for his rousing “things could be worse, you could play for Hull” speech - it’s just a shame that he looks so powerless to help his team avoid a drop of a different kind.

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Posted: October 2nd, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Hull target flop Pompey striker, Coloccini to Espanyol, Spurs’ £2m keeper bid


The latest transfer, gossip and damned lies

Fabricio Coloccini

Fabricio Coloccini to Espanyol
After tragically losing their captain Dani Jarque, Spanish paper Sport report that Espanyol are lining up the shaggy-haired Newcastle defender as a replacement.
The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Argentinean will surely favour a return to sunny Spain over second tier football in the north east. Winter is coming…

David Nugent to Hull
After Madrid’s Alvaro Negredo turned his nose up at the prospect of humiliating half time team talks on the pitch, Hull

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Posted: August 21st, 2009 by Ryan Bailey