The Spoiler

The top six underwhelming England strikers


The hitmen who didn’t quite cut it at international level

Chris Sutton

In light of in-form Sunderland striker Darren Bent’s omission from Don Fabio’s latest England squad, Spoiler correspondent Alex Perry has compiled a list of English strikers who failed to sparkle on the international stage. Who knows, Darren, if you keep “banging them in” you may get a chance to avoid joining this list…

Chris Sutton
410 club appearances / 88 goals
1 England appearance / 0 goals

Alan Shearer’s other half in Blackburn Rovers’ deadly strike force, Sutton was the joint top-scorer with Dion Dublin and 18-year-old Michael Owen in the 1997/98 season, and thus a shoo-in for the upcoming World Cup squad, surely? Well, no, because Sutton had decided a few months before that playing for an experimental England ‘B’ team wasn’t for him and Glenn Hoddle decided Sutton’s single goalless cap in an England shirt was enough.

Robbie Fowler
409 club appearances / 172 goals (and counting)
26 England appearances / 8 goals

You couldn’t pick up a newspaper in the nineties without reading about “England’s most natural finisher”, scoring 30-plus goals three seasons on the bounce. Fowler went to Euro ‘96 in the form of his life, but he was never going to unsettle the Shearer/Sheringham partnership that did so well in that tournament.

Persistent injuries, the “Spice Boy” lifestyle and controversial goal celebrations meant Fowler was restricted to just 26 England appearances and just one competitive goal - against Albania in a World Cup qualifier.

Matthew Le Tissier
443 club appearances / 162 goals
8 England appearances / 0 goals

A goal in every two-and-a-half games is an unbelievable return

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Posted: October 6th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Jay DeMerit’s eye injury hell, Ian Wright talks rubbish and Fat Ronaldo nightmares


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Amazing - Chelsea vs Liverpool. In Nigeria. If anyone has the full film, we’ll swap you our life savings and children.

Watford’s Jay DeMerit is out of action after suffering an injury that made The Spoiler cringe for about half an hour. And it’s not a broken leg.
[Daily Mail]

Unsurprisingly, it’s not worth taking anything Ian Wright says in those rubbish adverts for the The Sun seriously.
[The Times]

Want to sound knowledgeable at the office watercooler during the next (inevitable) Calciopoli scandal? Click on…
[Juventus.The Offside]

Evil Ronaldo bobblehead haunts our dreams. We’re sorry for calling you fat! (Not really)
[Dirty Tackle]

Darren Bent twitter update: He’s not visiting Tiger Tiger again, as he got ‘pure hassle’ from Newcastle fans last night. Also, Fraizer Campbell is back on XBOX Live. Hurrah!
[@dbthetruth]

Arsenal youth prospect Mark Randall’s alleged WAG poses NSFW-ishly
[ZOO Today]

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Posted: September 29th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

LA Galaxy target Thierry, Alex Hleb’s woes and Cheryl Cole’s Newcastle takeover plans


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Copwboys Stadium

Apple inadvertently get some good publicity at Cowboys Stadium
[SportsByBrooks]

Cheryl Cole wants to buy Newcastle Utd and buy Ashley Cole
[Off The Post]

Chelsea’s official team photographer is clearly a groin fan
[MRWF]

Ian Wright accused of ‘raping’ South Africa of its talent
[Daily Mail]

LA Galaxy are interested in Raymond Domenech’s best mate Thierry Henry
[Goal.com]

Alex Hleb realises he probably shouldn’t have left Arsenal
[The Independent]

David Beckham is to blame for the Lescott boo boys
[The Telegraph]

Melanie Slade in German FHM
[Caught Offside]

Spoiler promotion: Fancy a free punt? Of course you do, silly billy! Check out hundreds of pounds worth of free football bets at
OLBG Sports

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Posted: September 8th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Robbie Keane linked with Aston Villa, Elano seals £8m move, Vieira’s Arsenal return


The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Robbie Keane

Robbie Keane to Aston Villa

With the arrival of Peter Crouch and the ongoing pursuit of Klaas Jan Huntelaar at Spurs, the Daily Mail are speculating that Robbie Keane may pack up his bindle for the second consecutive summer. The team they have plucked from the air is Villa, who would have to match his £70,000-a-week wages.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Keane may not get on the team sheet every single week, but we can’t see him moving anywhere before the season starts.

Elano to Galatasaray
Despite being chased by both Milan clubs, the unwanted Citizen has moved to Turkey for a fee of around £8m.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: He’s on the front

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Posted: July 30th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Why Liverpool won’t win every remaining game this season


Eight reasons why Ian Wright’s bold prophecy won’t be realised

Liverpool players look dejected at Middlesbrough

Ian Wright has stuck his neck on the line and predicted that Liverpool will win each of their remaining eight Premier League games to win the title this season. The Spoiler disagrees. Liverpool haven’t won eleven consecutive league matches in a season since 1982 and here’s why every single remaining game has banana-skin potential:

Fulham away - The Cottagers’ home form is the fourth-best in the Premier League and they have won two of their last three against Liverpool at Craven Cottage. They have already beaten Manchester United and Arsenal there this season and drew with Chelsea.

Blackburn home - Since Sam Allardyce succeeded Paul Ince, Blackburn have lost just four out of eighteen games.

Arsenal home - The Gunners are unbeaten in sixteen Premier League games and have yet to lose against fellow Big Four sides this season.

Hull away - Liverpool have drawn their last two away games against newly-promoted teams: Birmingham at the end of last season and Stoke in January.

Newcastle home - Joe Kinnear will be back in charge by then and

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Posted: March 24th, 2009 by Michael Lintorn

Vote: Do paying fans have the right to abuse players?


Drogba’s coin incident sees footballers turn on mean supporters

Didier Drogba flips the bird

Following Didier Drogba’s over-zealous spare change distribution earlier this week, a number of stars past and present asked the FA and police to focus their attentions on the Burnley fan who originally threw the coin. Lampsie told Sky Sports:

“But if Didier gets banned, are fans going to do this more to provoke people? Who knows?

“I take quite a lot of corners and it’s not unusual to get things thrown at you and lots of abuse, too, and I think it’s got to a stage now where it’s got to stop.”

Tony Cascarino and Ian Wright have also pointed their finger squarely at the anonymous offending fan, who is undoubtedly delighted with the furor he has created.

Obviously, no one can condone the throwing of missiles onto the pitch, but in an age where respect is so high on the agenda, should fans have the right to verbally abuse and taunt players? Yes, we pay money to get behind our team and belittle the opposition, but some of the stuff that is shouted from the stands would definitely result in legal action if it were said on the street.

So, is fan abuse all part of the game, or is it something that incites unnecessary violence, ruins the game for families and creates an unsporting atmosphere? Votes and comments below, please…

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Posted: November 14th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Can anyone remember if England are playing tomorrow?


Newcastle and Manchester City have tried to monopolise the news this week - but they forgot about Ian Wright’s love for his country.

Ian Wright

Back in April, Ian Wright decided his style of punditry was no longer suitable for Match of the Day. Their “jacket, shirt and tie” format just didn’t sit well with his own preferred newsboy cap approach to opinion-sharing, and neither did he relish ever again playing the “court jester” to whoever was yawning on the sofa. So he quit.

MOTD has continued to sink into its mire of blandness quite happily without Wright, but what of his valuable insight? Fortunately it can still be enjoyed on the pages of The Sun, where this week Wright lent his peerless analytical talents to tomorrow’s England game, which given all that has happened this week, feels as relevant and anticipated as the League One programme. Below is a summary of his thesis, which in contrast to the Premier League hysteria, reads like poetry from a more innocent age.

I am shocked that Michael Owen is not in the England squad.

He’s scored lots of goals and defenders fear speed and experience.

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Posted: September 5th, 2008 by Ed Needham

Dennis Wise and Ian Wright share a private moment


Chelsea skipper employs unique defending strategy

Dennis Wise and Ian Wright

Little Dennis Wise isn’t all about needless aggression and taking Mike Ashley’s money for no particular reason. In his late nineties playing career, he also offered free testicular exams, and here he is carrying one out on The Sun’s least informed sports journalist.

Thanks to eagle-eyed Sporno fan Pranav for the spot.

Click here to see the full Sporno gallery

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Posted: June 25th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey