We follow them so you don’t have to

Above is a revealing snapshot into the life of a top footballer. Having mentioned the magnificent breakfast cereal Weetabix via his Twitter account, the good people at said product sent Darren Bent an entire box full. Because on 65k a week, it’s not as if he could afford his own. At this point, we’d like to add that thespoiler loves all breakfast cereals, indeed all foods, in fact all products ever made.

Meanwhile, no such luxury for James Collins, who spent last night watching ITV2 with his wife. Just after the conclusion of ‘Peter Andre: The Next Chapter’, Collins tweeted:

thinks Peter Andre is a top geeza!!

But the next programme was not to this televisual conniosseur’s liking. And who can blame him? At 10pm last night, ITV united two oxygen thieves in the same slot, by showing ‘Fearne and Peaches Geldof.’ Sadly, thespoiler was too busy chewing it’s own arm off to watch, but the promo we received promised, ‘Fearne gains exclusive access to the controversial Peaches Geldof - presenter, journalist, designer, party girl and daughter of Bob Geldof. In this extraordinary and revealing encounter, Fearne follows Peaches to discover the truth behind the headlines.’

Collins’ verdict was more succint:

Peaches Geldofa……….what a c*nt!!

Rugged Welsh centre-half clearly intent on meeting Katy Perry

New Aston Villa centre half James Collins is clearly missing his old buddies down the East End. Aston Villa fans may not be too chuffed to hear he was intent on spending the day before the club’s huge match with Manchester City, desperately trying to grab a night out with Russell Brand however.

The final few hours of the window are painfully quiet

James Collins to Aston Villa
The Villans have released a statement claiming they have agreed a fee for the West Ham defender. The fee has yet to be disclosed, but the professional fee-maker-uppers out there have decided it will be around £5m.

David Bentley not going to Manchester City
Despite dedicating most of the morning to the exclusive that we had two weeks ago, Sky Sports News now seem to believe that DB will spend the rest of the season on the bench at White Hart Lane, and not on the bench at Eastlands.

David James not going anywhere either
Jesus this is a boring deadline day so far. David James’ car was at Portsmouth’s training ground in Eastleigh, then it went away, and then it came back again. We’ll stay tuned to SSN to see if Jamo uses his car again today.

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City
Mark Hughes has confirmed holding talks with Arsenal over signing the Togolese striker and Sky Sports sources - which proved accurate yesterday - believe he will have a work permit hearing in Manchester tomorrow.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: If the reported £25 million fee is correct then Arsenal couldn’t really turn it down. It will be interesting to see if the majority of the money gets spent on a striker, a holding midfielder or nobody.

Klaas Jan Huntelaar to Spurs
Real Madrid say that talks to sell Huntelaar to Stuttgart are at an “advanced stage” but The Daily Mail fancy Spurs to make an eleventh hour bid.

James Collins handcuffed and arrested for no particular reason

If there is a fight outside swanky nightclub Funky Buddha on a weeknight, it’s safe to assume a Premiership star is involved. The Police made this very assumption last night, and put cuffs on West Ham defender James Collins. Unfortunately, it seems the Welshman was simply passing the popular WAG-snaring haunt on his way home from a meal at Nobu with his wife, and was caught up in the commotion. According to the Met Police, a man was “arrested and then subsequently de-arrested in Berkley Square”.

The Mirror says that Collins is now “considering his options”.