Nouveau riche club treats its employees with some lavish bling

To thank Carlos Tevez for all his hard work and dedication to Manchester City over the past three or four days, the clubs grotesque generous owners have rewarded him with a limited edition Franck Muller watch, worth a mere £168,000.

The wet dog-alike wasn’t the only one to get the star treatment though - the entire City team were presented with the luxury timepiece while visiting Sheikh Mansour in Abu Dhabi yesterday. The squad were reportedly “treated like royalty” during an aptly-named royal reception at the Sheikh’s palace, after which they checked in at the rather swanky Emirates Palace Hotel.

The Franck Muller watches are a very grand gesture, but one that is fatally flawed: Premier League footballers who are renowned for their tendency to constantly out-do one another in terms of cars, women and jewellery are hardly going to be happy about wearing exactly the same watch as everyone else on their team.

Everton star not willing to forgive police for jewellery shop mix-up

A statement on the Everton club website, Thursday March 12:

“We would now expect [Victor Anichebe] to receive a full and unreserved apology from the police - and then both he and the club would then consider the matter closed.”

A statement on the Everton club website, a bit later on Thursday March 12, after the police issue the apology Anichebe requested:

“Whilst I do fully understand Cheshire Police’s desire to tackle the problem of robberies on jewellery shops in the Knutsford area, I remain deeply upset and very angry about the treatment which was meted out to myself and a friend yesterday (Wednesday).”

We can’t figure out what is more shocking - Anichebe’s reticence to forgive the police despite receiving the apology he desired, or the fact that a footballer used the word “meted” in a statement. Did you swallow a dictionary, Victor?

Police swoop on Victor Anichebe while he browses in shop window

While deciding how to dispose of his generous income at the window of a posh jewellery shop in Knutsford, Cheshire yesterday, Everton star Victor Anichebe was deemed to be “acting suspiciously” by Police. Rather than risk letting the wealthy footballer make a purchase, the fuzz decided the best course of action was to slap him in some handcuffs.

The Sun says:

Officers leapt from a car, surrounded the Nigerian-born Everton ace and handcuffed a pal he was with.

An astonished witness told yesterday how the shaken star - on CRUTCHES after being crocked for the season - was grilled by up to five cops in front of afternoon shoppers.

He kept protesting: “I’m a footballer - I play for Everton. Why would I want to rob a shop?”

The Sun continue by quoting Sean Reynolds, a witness of the incident:

“Either Victor or his mate said, ‘If I was a white man it wouldn’t matter - you’re being racist’. A crowd was gathering by this stage. It was getting more and more agitated.”

While it is fair to cite racism as a motivator for this incident, is not also a tiny bit racist to fail to discern between Anichebe and “his mate”? The quote above may as well start: “One of those black folks said…”

Everton have issued a statement claiming the player was “distressed” by the incident, and that they expect a full apology from the police.