Also appearing on a computer near you…

The UAE’s goalkeeper proves it’s not always  a good idea to try and prevent conceding a corner
[Soccer Bloopers via The Offside]

Liverpool sign Bent
[Off the Post]

Daniel Levy is up for a Dutch threesome
[Caught Offside]

Fulham will bid for Joe
[Goal.com]

Victoria Beckham has a third boob job
[The Sun]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Maicon to Chelsea
The tabloids have grown tired of linking every current AC Milan player - minus David Beckham - with a move to Chelsea should Carlo Ancelotti takes over. Instead, they have started identifying players at other Italian clubs, with 27-year-old Inter Milan’s right-back Maicon reportedly a £22 million target.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Maicon is one of the best right-backs in the world but with the Blues’ ageing squad in need of an overhaul, they can’t really afford to spend that much on a position where they have three options under the age of 26 (Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Mancienne).

Brede Hangeland to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has identified Hangeland as the standout performer in the Fulham defence that have conceded less goals than Arsenal this season and is

Chelsea/Everton, Premier League, 8pm, Sky Sports 1

David Moyes is thinking of resting some players just three days after the gruelling FA Cup semi-final against Manchester United and with a home league game against Manchester City just three days away. However, they won’t want to make too many changes because if they are easily beaten tonight it will give Chelsea a psychological advantage ahead of the final. Everton took a point against the Blues earlier this season and have drawn on their last two league visits to Stamford Bridge. Here’s how The Spoiler would line the Toffees up:

If forced to rest a few players, we would replace Phil Neville and Leon Osman with Everton’s promising youngsters while bringing in Jo to hunt for his first away Premier League goal. Should Everton field their strongest team or rest everybody? Let us know what you think with a comment below.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies…

With just four days of trading remaining in the window, it’s little surprise that today’s rumours are very City-centric…

Kolo Toure to Manchester City
According to The Daily Mail, Manchester City have renewed their £12m bid for the longest serving member of Arsenal’s current squad (does that mean they just asked Arsenal again to see if they wanted to do the deal they already refused?). If unsuccessful, they may up the bid to £15m and throw in Richard Dunne.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: This would cover the Arshavin deal, but the Professor is very unlikely to let Toure go.

Roque Santa Cruz to Manchester City
Keen to burn through the unused Kaka money as quickly as possible, the blue side of Manchester has put in a final bid for the Blackburn striker of £18.5m, say The Guardian.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It’s clear that Santa Cruz wants to move on, but it all hinges on Blackburn chairman John Williams, who must decide whether the club can afford to lose their best player at such a

The least frugal investments in the beautiful game

With the news that Kaka may substitute hopes of silverware and European football for the chance to play in the Premier League*, The Spoiler has considered the top ten biggest wastes of money in Premier League history.

*We’re not saying Kaka won’t live up to a £100m price tag, but… actually yes, we are saying that. No one could possibly live up to such a ridiculous fee.

Andriy Shevchenko (£30m)
AC Milan to Chelsea, 2006
AC Milan’s second highest top scorer of all time put away 127 league goals in less than 200 starts for the Rossoneri, but managed just nine in two years at the Bridge. He was months away from his 30th birthday when he moved to England, which made the size of the fee even more alarming. Chelsea’s tails were firmly between their legs when they resold him to Milan last summer for an undisclosed fee - unlikely to be in excess of £5m.

Gaizka Mendieta (£29m)
Valencia to Lazio, 2001
Following an impressive spell with Valencia where he lead the side to back-to-back Champions League Finals, the two-time European Midfielder of the Year went to Lazio. He lasted just one season in Italy, scoring no goals. A loan spell back to Barcelona ensued, and then Middlesbrough, for whom he only made 26 league starts in three seasons before being released.

Juan Sebastian Veron (£28.1m)
Lazio to Manchester United, 2001
Man United broke the British transfer record in 2001 after Veron’s instrumental role in Sven-Goran Eriksson’s Lazio side (which won the league, the Coppa Italia and the Italian Super Cup the previous year). Although United made the mistake of bringing the Argentine to England, Chelsea’s decision to pay £15m after seeing his incompatibility with the English game was even

Liverpool star also tags along for trip to pop concert

Last week was terribly busy for Robinho. Not only did he take in some culture at the British Museum on Wednesday, but he also enjoyed a concert by popular American R&B artist Chris Brown at the weekend.

Those who were in attendance at the Manchester Evening News Arena on Saturday may have seen the City forward partying with fellow Brazilian Jo in a VIP box.

However, sources say the man date didn’t go quite as planned, as Jermaine Pennant also turned up to enjoy the hospitality and music that should only really interest young teenage girls.

No one likes a third wheel, Jermaine.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

It’s a little quiet in transferland today, and the headlines are dominated by comings on the red side of Manchester, and goings on the blue side…

Karim Benzema to Manchester Utd
The 21-year-old Lyon striker has said that it would be his “dream” to move to Real Madrid. Los Blancos are still chasing, but Sir Alex may stick it to them by jumping in with a bid, according to the Manchester Evening News.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Frenchman is said to be unhappy with Lyon’s performances in the Champions League, so Manchester Utd will obviously be a step in the right direction. He could make an excellent Tevez replacement.

Jo to Newcastle
After handing out £18m and getting one league goal in return, Manchester City are considering an offer from Newcastle for striker Jo, according to The Daily Mail. There are rumours of a swap deal with Mido and Alan Smith.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Jo has struggled

All the latest transfer gossip, rumours and lies

Boro allegedly reject third Downing bid from Spurs
Middlesbrough fans woke up this morning to reports that they had knocked back a £14.5 million bid for wantaway winger Stewart Downing. However, just a few hours later the Teesside club issued a statement denying that they had received a new offer from Spurs, who they have accused of turning the England international’s head.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Even though Downing wants to leave, Boro hold a position of power. He still has four-and-a-half years left on his contract and David Bentley’s latest woeful performance last night shows how desperately Spurs need a natural left winger.

Manchester City and Inter plan an unwanted Brazilian striker swap
Jo joined Manchester City in the summer for £18 million and has contributed just one league goal while Jose Mourinho last month suggested that Adriano needed to move elsewhere because he couldn’t be the “tutor” that the Brazilian striker needed. So what happens when there are two clubs with dispensible Brazilian strikers? They swap them, according to the Daily Mirror.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Adriano to Manchester City seems like a