German legend throws stones from his glass house

If you haven’t heard, the big news in Deutschland at the moment concerns Germany captain Michael Ballack’s ongoing feud with Joachim Loew. It started when Ballack accused the manager of being critical of teammate Torsten Frings in the Frankfurter Allgemeine newspaper, and for his insolence, the Matt Damon look-alike was threatened with a swift removal from the national side.

Despite insisting that he was merely jumping to the defence of a player like any good captian would, the Chelsea star publicly issued a full apology to Loew, in the hope that he would keep his place in the national team (read it in English here).

Never one to keep his nose out of controversy, former Germany captain Lothar Matthäus has waded in on the argument, claiming Ballack’s press

It’s all thanks to the unique way the Beeb is funded…

A cursory glance on the BBC Football homepage shows why their website is revered for ground-breaking exclusives and finger-on-the-pulse news stories.

What could possibly be the big story on the eve of another Euro 2008 semi-final? “Coach Low targets Euro final win.” Wow! We had literally no idea the Germans would actually want to win this thing now - thanks for opening our eyes, BBC!

(FYI: the manager’s surname is actually ‘Löw’ or ‘Loew’, and the picture accompanying the piece, well I’m fairly certain that’s Michael Ballack.)

In other breaking news, Guus Hiddink has said that he won’t be too disheartened if Russia win tonight and David Villa has stunned everyone by admitting he wouldn’t mind scoring another hat-trick tonight.

Big British Castle bonus: Do you want to relive the magical moment when the coverage blacked out last night? The Beeb have made a video of it right here, to be treasured by generations to come. Drink it in folks. Drink it in.

Unconvincing Germans make the final again

Once again, Adrien Brody’s Joachim Loew’s side managed to claw their way to their sixth European Champions final, despite being the second best team on the pitch last night.

Seeing as nature decided the worldwide audience didn’t deserve to see the Miroslav Klose goal that put Germany 2-1 up, you can check it out by clicking the box above.

German captain sends the hosts packing

While dismissed Germany coach Adrien Brody Joachim Loew was kickin’ it with German chancellor Angela Merkel in the stands, Michael Ballack was busy blasting a 30-yard free kick won by Philipp Lahm.

Speaking of Philipp Lahm, why not enter our competition to win yourself a copy of Jumper here.

Poland haven’t forgotten about that thing you did, Germany

One of the more interesting games this weekend is likely to be Sunday’s Group B clash between Poland and Germany, thanks in part to the media storm whipped up by brilliant-sounding Polish newspaper Super Express.

In an antagonistic article published this week, Poland gaffer Leo Beenhakker was instructed to “bring us their heads” by the national publication. To bring the aggressive point home, they pictured the manager clasping the bloodied heads of Michael Ballack and Joachim Loew. After the coach branded the feature “sick”, UEFA limply responded in the manner of a teacher who sees two kids fighting but carries on sitting in his chair because he can’t be bothered to go and break it up (thanks a lot, Mr Mills):

“We are