Coming to a computer near you…

Rumours abound that the World in Motion reprise is on
( Off the Post )

Jimmy Bullard has bits of dead men in him
( Off the Post )

Interestment have gone early on their World Cup XI
( Interestment )

Stephen Hunt brilliantly calls Eamon Dunphy a, “skinny little rat”

Jermain Defoe’s ex has upped her game (NSFW)
( The Sun )

Eastenders viewing figures not under threat this evening

Tranmere Rovers vs. Stockport County (7.45pm, Sky Sports 1)
Tranmere play their first game without the recently sacked John Barnes, as club physio Les Parry attempts a Nigel Adkins by trading the magic sponge for the tactics board in the guise of caretaker boss.

Both sides have struggled of late: the hosts have just one win in their last 11 while Stockport have won just once on the road in the league since February. Stockport sit 20th in the table and Tranmere occupy 22nd, making it a potential six pointer for the relegation candidates.

Oldham Ath Reserves vs. Manchester Utd Reserves (7pm, MUTV)
United reserves are looking to defend the Manchester Senior Cup for the third year running and tonight come up against Oldham. On paper, it may not sound like the most riveting

The Tranmere boss is highly thought of by the editors of Wikipedia…

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Ten ways to meet footballers
[Soccerlens]

Ryan Shawcross to Liverpool
[Goal.com]

Spurs target Crystal Palace striker Victor Moses
[Daily Mail]

Darren Fletcher blames the referee - not Scotland’s ineptitude - for the Norway defeat
[The Guardian]

… a bit rubbish

This week, John Barnes and Barnsley FC’s resident poet Ian McMillan judged the government-backed ‘Get On’ competition, in which fans from hundreds of clubs submitted chants that they had written themselves.

Southend Utd fan Terry Cockell penned an ode to Dougie Freedman set to the tune of The Wombles. Despite picking a melody that is rather more synonymous with AFC Wimbledon, the 39-year-old accountant’s effort won the grand prize, which was a trip to a recording studio.

Here are the lyrics to Britain’s Best Football Chant:

Underground, overground signed on a free,

He’s Dougie Freedman of S.U.F.C.

Scores goals for fun, he’s blue through and through,

Better watch out ‘cos he’ll score against you.

John Barnes - whose Anfield Rap helped Liverpool lose the 1988 FA Cup Final - was full of indifferent praise for the winning chant:

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John Barnes, Pat Cash and Austin Powers Healey want you to buy Mars bars

This is the kind of skateboarding we want to see
[WithLeather]

Spot the difference: Steven Gerrard’s kiss v Ryan Giggs’ kiss
[Pies]

Liverpool target Queen lovin’ defender David Wheater
[Caught Offside]

Chelsea have reportedly sealed the long anticipated Yuri Zhirkov deal
[Daily Mail]

Frank Lampard’s pouty ex Elen Rives is about to become 14 million Euros heavier
[Kickette]

Vintage Ratboy footage marks anniversary of FA Cup giant killing

While Liverpool supporters will pay their respects at the Hillsborough Memorial game at Anfield tonight, today represents a very different kind of anniversary for Wimbledon fans.

It is 21 years to the day that the Dons caused one of the biggest upsets in English football history, by beating League Champions Liverpool in the 1988 FA Cup final. The Crazy Gang - whose members included Dennis Wise, Vinnie Jones and John Fashanu - proved too strong for the likes of Alan Hansen, John Barnes and Peter Beardsley on the day, coming out 1-0 winners thanks to a Lawrie Sanchez header. Unfortunately, the Wombles were denied the opportunity to compete in Europe, thanks to the ban on English teams caused by the actions of Liverpool supporters in the 1985 Heysel disaster.

It’s amazing to think that just eleven seasons earlier, top flight Wimbledon were a non league side. If such a fairytale rise through the leagues is ever to be repeated, it will probably be done by the club’s current incarnation, AFC Wimbledon. Started by fans when the original club was brutally murdered by Adam Crozier’s FA and sold to a Milton Keynes franchise in 2002, AFC will begin next season with the likes of Luton and Oxford Utd in the Blue Square Premier.

The video above is taken from the BBC’s coverage of the 1988 final (the last one to be screened on both the BBC and ITV), and shows Dennis Wise getting thoroughly embarrassed on the coach journey to Wembley. Say what you like about Wise and Vinnie Jones (who used to affectionately refer to his aforementioned colleague as ‘Ratboy’), but footballers simply aren’t as funny and honest as this when interviewed on camera any more.

Jamaica manager cites ‘exceptional hardship’ as an excuse

With nine points on his licence, former Liverpool legend John Barnes faced a further six points and an automatic ban when he was caught driving his BMW X5 without insurance. Rather than take his punishment like Pepe Reina, the 44 year old took the Damien Duff-approved route of avoiding motoring offences, claiming ‘exceptional hardship’.

Barnes, pictured here partying with a handsome football website editor, lives in a £1m home on Merseyside, drives a luxury gas-guzzler and can earn up to £4,000 a week with television and managerial/ scouting duties. Despite his lifestyle, he claimed he would have to employ a chauffeur if he was banned, and couldn’t afford to do that and support a wife, an ex and six children.

The excuse worked and a Cheshire magistrate forced him to pay a £2,000 fine instead. According to this website, that equates to about 40 hours with a luxury chauffeur.

[The Telegraph]