The Spoiler

John O’Shea gets a boot deal, Freddy Adu has been found and Totti grows a mullet


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The Spoiler has no idea what is going on here, but Francesco Totti’s mullet is nice

How have Capello’s England done against the world’s best so far?
[Guardian]

Fans of being laughed at should get John O’Shea’s new signature boots
[Off the Post]

Eduardo is tired of collecting splinters on the bench
[Caught Offside]

Remember Freddy Adu? Of course you do. Next, we want to know where Cherno Samba, Tonton Zola Moukoko, Andri Sigporsson and all the other Championship Manager faux-legends ended up
[BBC Sport]

Kaka wants Beckham at WC2010. So he can run rings around him in a quarter-final
[The Sun]

Ben Foster refuses to accept his own rank mediocrity
[Telegraph]

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Posted: November 16th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

The Spoiler’s Average XI


Because not everyone can be the star of the show

Jeremie Aliadiere

For every Premiership star, there is a gaggle of decidedly average teammates skulking about in his shadows. These players are neither outstanding nor terrible, they are simply hard workers with a tendency to go about their job with little fuss - probably because they don’t want to draw attention to their lack of class.

The Spoiler has lovingly compiled a starting  in tribute to these headline-dodging work horses, and no, it’s not just the Middlesbrough team…

GK: Kasper Schmeichel
City’s number two shot stopper isn’t a bad keeper, but he’s no class act - it probably doesn’t help that his dad was one of the best shot stoppers the Premier League has ever seen. It’s almost tragic at how much worse he is than Schmeichel senior but at ;east he is a better use of genetic material than George Best’s profesional moron son Calum.

RB: Phil Neville
The crappier Neville brother has represented England 59 times, and is Everton’s current captain. Yet he’s never been that good at anything other than tackling.

CB: Steven Taylor
The Newcastle defender has the odd impressive performance, but if he could sustain it, maybe Shay ‘I-have-to-face-way-too-many-shots-a-match’ Given would want to stay.

CB: Anton Ferdinand
They share the same parents, play at centre back, think dodgy braids are equally cool

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Posted: January 13th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Former Spurs star eyes a return, Ronaldo’s Madrid saga latest and Nicole Scherzinger


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Joey Barton

Scary picture of the day: Violent criminal Joey Barton has not procreated (thank God), he’s just doing his bit at a Newcastle Utd charity event
[Kickette]

Manchester Utd vehemently deny the latest Ronaldo to Real Madrid gossip
[BBC]

Nicole Scherzinger gets sexy for Maxim magazine
[Grid Crasher]

John O’Shea laughs off gay taunts
[Eleven a Side]

When football Christmas parties turn bad
[The Guardian]

David Beckham meets his High School Musical idols
[Machochip]

Is Mounir El Hamdaoui heading back to the Lane? Will he play a game this time?
[Caught Offside]

Timewaster: The football haircuts quiz
[Quizible]

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Posted: December 18th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Players and celebs pay tribute to Ryan Giggs at film premiere


Ryan Giggs: True Red pulls out all the stars

Ryan Giggs: True Red premiere

On Monday, a DVD celebrating Ryan Giggs’ illustrious 17-year career will be released, and in celebration a premiere of the film was held in Manchester. Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Anderson, Nani, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Park Ji-Sung, Dimitar Berbatov, Owen Hargreaves, Jonny Evans, John O’Shea and Michael Carrick all walked the carpet rocking a snazzy jeans/ white shirt/ blazer combo in honour of the Welshman. Rio even augmented his outfit with a cravat, making him look dead sophisticated.

Celebrity fans Angus Deyton, Peter Hook and monkey man Ian Brown also turned out, but those reinforced crowd barriers were severly tested by the cream of Manchester’s acting talent, including True Red narrator Ralf Little, Will Mellor, Max Beesley and Corrie’s Kevin Webster.

Liam Fray of The Courteneers said:

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Posted: September 19th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

The mystery of Rio Ferdinand’s black eye


Did the England captain get decked?

Rio’s blackeye

Rio Ferdinand turned up at Manchester Airport yesterday sporting a huge shiner on his left eye. His agent claimed he picked it up during the Aston Villa pummeling at the weekend, but John O’Shea was overheard asking him what had happened, and Rio evasively said: “I’ll tell you later.”

If it was picked up during a game, wouldn’t O’Shea have been aware of it, and wouldn’t Rio have delivered

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Posted: April 1st, 2008 by Ryan Bailey