What if Michael Owen followed up his glossy brochure with an appearance on Dragon’s Den…
[talkSPORT Magazine]
Chelsea have rejected a £30 million bid from Manchester City for John Terry
[The Guardian]
The Italian press expect Manchester United to bid for Zlatan Ibrahimovic
[Football Italia]
A contentious list of the top ten Bosman buys of all time - was Hull’s Geovanni really a more inspired signing than Champions League winner Henrik Larsson?
[Daily Mail]
Man United fans aren’t too excited about the prospect of signing Michael Owen
[Republik of Mancunia]
Arsene Wenger thinks Emmanuel Adebayor will stay this summer
[Sky Sports]
Ratboy turns up for Chelsea captains’ lap of honour
Several months ago, a small aggressive man with rat-like features went missing from the north east. His last known employer was Newcastle Utd football club, and he was last seen in the company of a rotund cockney. Thankfully, The Spoiler’s manhunt is now over*, as Dennis Wise was yesterday spotted on the playing surface at Stamford Bridge.
Following the victory over Blackburn, the world’s favourite person named Dennis Wise (well, second favourite if you count fictional ex-cons who run Baltimore boxing clubs) performed a lap of honour with John Terry, Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris and Roy Bentley. Chelsea’s most successful captains were honouring Bentley’s 85th birthday, giving the majority of the home crowd their first ever glimpse of players who played at Stamford Bridge before 2003.
*Technically, the manhunt was over in March, when the popular former Newcastle Executive Director made a public appearance in Swindon for the Christian Roberts Testimonial in a fetching pink kit. But let’s not get technical, OK?
Spoiler bonus:Here’s thirteen-year-old Wisey on Record Breakers.
Chelsea/Liverpool, Champions League QF 2nd leg, 7.45pm, ITV1
It looks like Guus Hiddink may stick with the team that started the first-leg besides bringing in Ricardo Carvalho for suspended captain John Terry. That strategy makes sense but with Liverpool likely to go on the offensive, The Spoiler would make a slightly defensive tweak by bringing in John Obi Mikel for Michael Ballack and playing a Rafa-esque 4-2-3-1:
Have you got a better idea? Let us know who you would pick below…
The chances are you’ll come up with something better than us
It wasn’t until The Spoiler tried to figure out how we would set Liverpool up tonight that we realised just how tough a task Rafael Benitez faces. They need to field as attacking a line-up as possible without leaving themselves so vulnerable at the back that they risk humiliation. After lots of umming and ahhing, here’s what we settled on:
Playing without full-backs is risky with Florent Malouda and Salomon Kalou both likely to start for Chelsea so we’d need Jamie Carragher and Daniel Agger to move wide a lot with Javier Mascherano operating as a virtual centre-back at times. The reason we chose Sami Hyypia over Martin Skrtel is that he has scored in three previous Champions League quarter-finals for Liverpool and could unsettle a Chelsea defence missing John Terry at set-pieces.
Our approach is fairly suicidal so if you have a better way of balancing all-out attack with a steady defence, let us know with a comment below.
See the Blues’ world famous “stretching in front of giant golden statues” routine and so much more
Ever wondered what Chelsea get up to at their super futuristic Cobham training facility? Us neither, but we have unearthed an insight into the daily routine of Guss Hiddink’s men…
Deco gives himself a thorough eyebrow workout on the pool table.
JT dresses Franco Di Santo every day. Here, the young Argentinean is concerned that El Capitan has messed up the tie and shirt order, but is thankful that he managed to put his pants on before his trousers this time.
Champions League penalty miss immortalised in 3D model form
Google Earth’s 3D mapping feature is great, but only really useful for those who wish to check which cars were outside their house on the day the cameras drove past, or those who are planning a robbery. The Google eggheads, however, have finally harnessed their software in a way we can all enjoy.
When Stamford Bridge was originally modelled, the gigantic screen depicted a classic JT and Lampsie post goal hug-out. Now, however, it has been replaced with an image of a tearful man being consoled in the rain after failing to convert a penalty.
England 2/ Ukraine 1
It was far from a vintage performance, but last night England continued their 100 per cent success rate in World Cup 2010 Qualification, a feat that only Spain and Holland can also boast.
Premiership flop Andriy Schevchenko (or “ShevSHenko” as David Pleat insists) made the Three Lions regret sitting back on a one goal lead, but thankfully John Terry saved the day with his 85th minute effort.
Spoiler bonus: Wondering why Fabio’s least favourite striker celebrated with a ‘rope pull’ manoeuvre? Smithy told him to do it…
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