Coming to a computer near you

Insert your own smutty innuendo-laden intro about this pic of Lamps’ ex surrounded by cats
( Kickette )

Notts County fail to sell Meadow Lane to Roberto Mancini
( Eurosport )

Ten great Serie A disasters
( The Offside )

John Terry in the running to be FIFA World Player of the Year. No, really
( Pies )

It’s like the Crossbar Challenge, but more corner-y and Chelsea-ish

Piror to their Champions League encounter with the acronym-tastic APOEL this week, Lampsie and JT were in a competitive mood. With Signor Ancelotti looking on, the Chelsea stars squared off against one another in order to see who could score directly from a corner.

Have the Blues found themselves a new set piece specialist?

[Footy Factor]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Even in pipe and slippers, Dennis Bergkamp has still got it

A Besiktas fan’s (amazingly accurate) gob caused Rooney’s hissy fit
[Daily Star]

Frank Arnesen’s time might finally be up
[Goal.com]

Mr Chelsea volunteers for a job no-one wants him to do
[The Mirror]

Slightly naive Carlos Tevez could be in for a surprise on Sunday
[The Telegraph]

Sylvie Van der Vaart stands about, looks lovely
[ONTD]

A week in the life of the World’s Angriest Goalkeeper
[Dirty Tackle]

The boyhood teams of some the game’s biggest names

Generally speaking, Premier League footballers are well advised to be discreet about the team they truly support. Nowhere is this more evident than in the case of David Bentley, a supposed lifelong Arsenal fan who suddenly professed to be a boyhood Spurs fan upon switching to the north London side. With this imprudent declaration in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has rounded up ten footballers whose loyalties don’t necessarily lay with their employers…

Andrei Arshavin
Despite only recently joining the Gunners, fan favourite Arshavin has never hidden the fact that Barcelona are and always have been his team of choice. He has said he was devastated when a move to the Catalan giants never fully materialised when he was at Zenit and has even stated that he would love to play for Barca since he has been at Arsenal. Now if that isn’t a ploy to gain a bigger contract…

John Terry
Mr. Chelsea didn’t make it to Manchester City in the end this summer. Many Chelsea fans will like to think that it is because he is Blue through and through. However, Terry was actually a Manchester Utd fan growing up. Could this be why he couldn’t bring himself to join the Citizens?

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
The baby faced assassin made a name for himself at Manchester Utd,

Lampsie, JT and co are told not to make time for the fans

It’s the sort of thing that usually happens before the start of the season, but yesterday 8,000 Chelsea fans gathered at Stamford Bridge for an open day training session.

Such events are usually conducive to a positive and relaxed atmosphere, where lucky fans can get pictures and autographs with their heroes, who are not distracted by the pressure of a big matchday.

Not so at Chelsea. Supporters who made the effort yesterday were told over the tannoy system that the players would not sign anything, citing “safety concerns”. The club’s decision to protect their players from RSI and carpal tunnel syndrome was not well receieved:

After a 90-minute practice session

The most search for Prem players on the web

As we sit on the cusp of another Premier League season, the folks at Google have released figures of all their football related searches from the past month. The team above represents the most-searched for Premier League stars on the web based on their positions.

As you can see, most of them have been involved in transfer deals or speculation. David James’ relatively-surprising spot in the side is probably helped by his occasional newspaper columns, and Steven Gerrard can attribute his first team place to his impossibly persuasive legal team.

The most searched team was Liverpool with 16 million hits, then followed Chelsea (13m), Arsenal (9.1m) and Manchester Utd (9m). Bolton were the least searched for side with 250,000 hits.

Understandably, the most popular WAG was Cheryl Cole, and Howard Webb was the referee who earned the most online enquires.

Don’t let the Welsh/Geordie accent fool you, this is the real deal!*

*It’s not.

[talkSPORT via 101GG]

Mr Chelsea to get his own ‘Glorified Garden Shed‘

Over the past few months, Chelsea fans have been worried that their captain would move to a bigger house worth even more money, but John Terry has officially confirmed that he will be staying at his current residence after being offered a considerable improvement to his domestic situation.

Hilarious allusions to transfer speculation aside, Mr Chelsea has won permission to devalue his neighbours’ property by constructing a huge personal gym. The Mirror sez:

The 28-year-old England and Chelsea captain has been given the nod to build an extension to his £2.25million house for a gym, pool, sauna, steam room and Jacuzzi.

Residents in Oxshott, Surrey, had objected to the move, but council chiefs gave him the go-ahead.

A pal said: “John’s delighted. He’ll have all the keep-fit facilities he needs to get in shape for the World Cup next year.”

Thank God JT has been given the opportunity to keep fit at home. How on earth would he have coped just using the multi-million-pound state-of-the-art Chelsea training ground that he visits every day?