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Apple inadvertently get some good publicity at Cowboys Stadium
[SportsByBrooks]

Cheryl Cole wants to buy Newcastle Utd and buy Ashley Cole
[Off The Post]

Chelsea’s official team photographer is clearly a groin fan
[MRWF]

Ian Wright accused of ‘raping’ South Africa of its talent
[Daily Mail]

LA Galaxy are interested in Raymond Domenech’s best mate Thierry Henry
[Goal.com]

Alex Hleb realises he probably shouldn’t have left Arsenal
[The Independent]

David Beckham is to blame for the Lescott boo boys
[The Telegraph]

Melanie Slade in German FHM
[Caught Offside]

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The 2009 window deals that were absolutely inevitable

As the transfer window creaks shut for once more, Spoiler correspondent Andrew Brook has compiled a team of players who were always destined to change clubs this summer. And look, he’s done it in a 3-5-2 formation! How fun!

GK - Joe Hart
(Manchester City to Birmingham)
As soon as Manchester City signed Shay Given in January, Hart was destined to leave. Every season a promoted team seems to get a new goalkeeper (Scott Carson to West Brom in 2008, Craig Gordon to Sunderland in 2007) so this was an obvious match.

DF - Joleon Lescott
(Everton to Manchester City)
One of this season’s most painfully long sagas saw David Moyes over take Sir Alex Ferguson as the Premier League’s dourest Scot, and thus by extension its dourest person. Just be thankful that this inevitable deal didn’t drag on all the way to deadline day.

DF - Kyle Naughton
(Sheffield United to Tottenham Hotspur)
Even before Sheffield United failed to secure Premier League promotion, everyone knew one of their ranks would be playing in the top flight this season. Harry Redknapp could not remember which of the Blades’ Kyles he wanted, so nabbed Naughton’s teammate Walker as well, but we all knew which one he meant.

The stars who have failed to live up to their transfer fees

As the folks who ploughed their cash into the Sega Saturn, Minidiscs and HD-DVDs will testify, sometimes smart investments don’t quite work out. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Joe Thompson has compiled a list of ten Premier League players who have failed to deliver on the financial commitment their respective clubs made to bring them in…

Andriy Shevchenko
(Chelsea, £31m)
When Chelsea signed ‘Sheva’ in 2006 on a four year deal, it was for a club record fee - but this was a record breaking player. He’d won everything with Milan, bagged the Ballon d’Or and had twice been top scorer in Serie A. Since his move to West London, however, he’s managed 20 goals in 83 appearances, and a season shipped out on loan back to his beloved Milan. Did he rediscover his form there? Did he f**k. He’ll be 33 next month as a once-great career slides away. Abramovich’s ultimate vanity signing has been his worst.

Kolo Toure
(Manchester City, £14m)
While part of the 2003/04 title-winning ‘invincibles’, he could have been in the Best Value top ten. One of Wenger’s best buys for £150,000, he was immense. The past couple of seasons though, Toure and Arsenal have struggled with consistency, with the team’s spine being called into question. Unlike Chelsea with Shevchenko, The Citizens have bought a player who has already lost his form.

Zat Knight
(Bolton, £5m)
You’ve got to feel for Bolton fans.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Wayne Rooney does his best Travis Bickle

Joleon Lescott is ‘over the moon’ with his new £94,000-a-week pay packet. Wouldn’t you be?
[The Guardian]

Richard Dunne to Aston Villa
[The Telegraph]

Great news Newcastle - you’re stuck with Mike Ashley for at least another season!
[The Mirror]

How not to report the news
[College Humor]

The Ultimate WAG XI
[The Big Lead]

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Everton manager in “does thing he said he wouldn’t do” shocker

David Moyes, April 25th:

“We want to keep the base we have, some of the players we have now, to replace them would cost £15-£20million, and so why would we do that, with no guarantee that we could find better?”

David Moyes, April 25th:

“We want to add to this squad and I can assure you that no one we want to keep will leave.”

David Moyes, August 8th:

“The crowd know and understand that what we are doing here is right and we have been very consistent and we have said that Joleon Lescott won’t be sold. There’s not much point me elaborating on that because I have been consistent - he’s not for sale.”

David Moyes, August 15th:

“I have said often enough that Everton are not selling”

Everton FC official website, August 23rd:

“Everton has agreed an undisclosed fee with Manchester City for the transfer of defender Joleon Lescott.”

[Quotes: F365]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Stephen Warnock to Aston Villa
The Mirror say Sam Allardyce has handed Martin O’Neill “The Warnock Ultimatum”. It’s not a Robert Ludlum novel, but rather a 48-hour deadline to snap up the left back.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Balckburn want a little more than the £8m Villa are offering, but we think it will go through before Blackburn’s League Cup bout with Gillingham tomorrow.

Some sort of defender to Everton
After their thoroughly crappy start to the new campaign and the imminent loss of Joleon ‘bad attitude’ Lescott to Manchester City, The Toffees are looking at a number of options to strengthen their back line, say The Times. Bolton’s Gary Cahill and Boro’s David Wheater and Robert Huth are said to be in consideration, for no real reason other than that they have been linked with some other clubs over the summer.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Everton definitely need fresh blood, but landing

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Rafael van der Vaart to Liverpool
The Times say that Liverpool are ready to make an offer for the Dutchman who is valued at around £10m. But the paper immediately dismisses its own claim by noting that Senor Benitez has nearly exhausted his transfer funds.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Real Madrid attacking midfielder (and his WAG) would be welcome additions to the Premier League, but surely financial constrictions will deny him a move to Anfield.

Joleon Lescott to Manchester City. Maybe.
David Moyes has dropped the want-away defender from his Europa League squad, citing a poor attitude following the embarrassing defeat to Arsenal at the weekend. The Everton manager now seems a little more open to the prospect of Lescott moving on, telling the Guardian that “the price we have been offered is not close to our valuation.” Said valuation is understood to be around £30m.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Clearly, Lescott is no longer a positive influence

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This gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘going through a door’

‘Arry is imposing a nightclub ban - how long before Jermain Defoe hands in a transfer request?
[The Mirror]

Football drama, week one
[Interestment]

Either Barcelona are not getting the message about Fabregas, or the papers are running thin on transfer news
[Daily Mail]

Liverpool have joined the race for Steven Taylor
[Goal.com]

Are the Americans bleeding Liverpool dry?
[Caught Offside]

Joleon Lescott is the new Dimitar Berbatov
[The Offside]

Fulham secure Damien Duff’s signature
[Sky Sports]

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